Tag: Ken Burns

A Nation of Dead Sophomores

PBS aired the final episode of Ken Burns’ latest documentary, Prohibition, and the numbers are in!

  • Just over 3,000 college students died from taking a shot every time a camera slowly panned or zoomed into an black and white photograph.
  • 10,000 were hospitalized with neck injuries from caustically comparing the depicted events to the modern day War on Drugs aloud to anyone within earshot.
  • And over 2,000,000 Blogspot and Tumblr accounts incorporated the word “scofflaw” into their posts since Sunday.

Thanks for watching, and may God have mercy on their souls.

South and South: Civil War II?

It’s been one busy week for this Southern correspondent. On top of tornadoes, a sugar refinery explosion and Mike Huckabee delegates, Georgia lawmakers are instigating an expansion of their border into Tennessee.

Georgia’s legislature has proposed a resolution to “move the Tennessee-Georgia boundary about a mile to the north of where it now lies,” placing it exactly at the 35th parallel. The shift would give them access to the Nickajack Reservoir on the Tennessee River to help alleviate Georgia’s water woes.

Tennessee residents of the proposed Rhineland are opposed to the measure and have already drafted unofficial responses:

“One state senator offered to settle the issue with a football game. Another suggested floating an armada of University of Tennessee fans down the Tennessee River to defend the state’s territory.”

Could the 35th parallel become the equivalent of the 38th parallel between North and South Korea? We smell a new Ken Burns special! Stay tuned to this blog for updates as we cover, “South and South: Civil War II?”