Your crackpot theory invalidates mine

It turns out that the United States isn’t the only nation that hates 2012. The film is also on North Korea’s “To Don’t” list.

Kim Jong-il, who complies the list for the glorious benefit of all his human shields, has cracked down on anyone smuggling or receiving copies of the penultimate disaster porn flick.

Is it because the film is an unwatchable wreck, a cheap tug on the heartstrings followed by stunning visuals, a heartrending reminder of how John Cusack used to make good movies?

No, it’s because the year 2012 is the centennial celebration of the not-so-immortal leader, Kim Sung-il. That is the point that North Korea is supposed to “open the grand gates to becoming a rising superpower.”

So, if anything’s gonna destroy the world, it’s gonna be North Korean ascendancy, not some stupid Mayans.