Mmmm-mmmm. Sure, they may not be great for you, but sometimes, a big plate of chicken tenders can just hit the spot. And despite the health concerns, even kids can have them every now and then. But at four schools for children in Methuen, Massachusetts, only white people are allowed to eat them.
Okay, not really, but thanks to a typing error, that’s almost how it became. The person in charge of typing up the school menus mistakenly typed an extra ‘K’ for the item ‘KK Chicken Tenders’ (which stands for Krispy and Krunchy Chicken Tenders), resulting in approximately 6500 students being offered the ‘KKK Chicken Tenders’ for lunch. The menus were then republished after the mistake was pointed, thus making them valuable collectors items and worth a large amount of Confed-a-Bux.
For future menus, maybe they should just be called chicken tenders, no extra adjectives given. Just in case.
“There’s a whole lotta honkies in this ice cream shop.”
But that’s just coincidental. You see, Ice Cream Family Corner and Sandwiches, a locally owned ice cream shop in Ocala, Florida, recently unveiled a new mascot. Of course, as with all business involving mascots, controversy quickly ensued. When people drove by the parlor, they saw the dancing mascot holding a sign, and as such, they immediately thought that the business going on was racist.
As in, the mascot was a KKK member.
Except the owner of Ice Cream Family Corner and Sandwiches is Lisa Diaz, who’s from Puerto Rico. Sometimes a vanilla ice cream cone is just a vanilla ice cream cone.
A dorm named after a Klansman? Who would’ve thought that might create an issue?
“You know, from time to time, we’re reminded of ugly periods in our nation’s history regarding civil rights by situations like this,” said UT Board of Regents member Printice Gary. “The question, then, is, ‘What do you do?’ and ‘How does the community respond to these types of challenges?'”
Answer: most people tend to amend the situation so that we’re never again reminded of the ugly periods. That can include, but is not necessarily limited to, renaming the dorm a long time ago.
The question on everyone’s minds at this very moment–and don’t deny it–is, “Who should replace Larry King?” Rumored candidates include Piers Morgan, Katie Couric, Ryan Seacrest, Joy Behar and Anderson Cooper.
Really, rumor-mill? You can’t think of people who aren’t already helming their own shows and whatever a Piers Morgan is? (Is it a porn star? Does it f@#k bear markets?) You can’t think of someone who has been denied the chance to embetter America via the airwaves? Someone who promises more tears than Glenn Beck hosting an onion chopping festival with special guest rapper Nut-kickah?
It’s me. Give me the show.
Well…? Fine, here’s my resume, rant-style. Continue reading Take it from Snee: I am the next Larry King
Several high profile members of the KKK (that’s the Ku Klux Klan for those of you wondering what the last “k” stands for) are being sued in Kentucky for assaulting Jordan Gruver. It’s not known if they attacked Gruver because he is of Panamanian descent or doesn’t have “relations” with his kin.
Of these defendants, one is “Imperial Wizard” Ron Edwards, who — in a display of his intellectual immensity — is defending himself.
This is the moron’s defense:
- “I’ll prove that I teach them not to go out and commit violence.”
- “I’ll prove I did not know they were there.”
After all, the KKK has always been known for it’s adherence to nonviolent tactics. Purification of white blood just means that it would be nice if non-Anglo-Saxon, -straight and -Protestant people would just stop having blood … in them.