Kim Jong Un is bringing his own toilet to peace talks

The leaders of North and South Korea are meeting at a summit this week, and that’s pretty historic. But what’s also historic is that Kim Jong Un will only poop in his own toilet brought from home.

Kim and company brought along a special toilet for the North Korean leader alone to make a No. 2, and it’s all about national security. The North Koreans don’t want Western spies getting their hands on Kim’s crap because it could reveal medical and dietary information, sources say.

The toilet will be in a vehicle that is part of Kim’s convoy. So basically, during the peace talks between the two Koreas, at some point Kim is going to get up from the table, walk to his convoy, get in a car, and, we’re guessing, spend a good 45 minutes in it.

Nuts to longer life

We know how much you ladies love a man with big, luxurious balls, but did you ever consider that your shallowness is killing us?

Researchers studying eunuchs in the Chosun Dynasty — the era of Korean royalty spanning from 1392 to 1910 — found that castrated men lived on average to 70, which was 14 to 19 years longer than their swingin’ peers. Even the kings they served lived to only an average age of 47. Even in comparison to today’s males, three out of the 81 eunuchs survived to 100, which is 130 times more likely even with modern testicular medicine and grooming habits.

So, we finally figured out why married men live longer than single ones. (BOOM! Comedy nuke!)

Sexual frustration > gaming frustration

News bite: A high school student, frustrated, over a recent gaming session at an Internet café in South Korea set light to a warehouse Saturday evening.

The 15-year-old told police that he torched the warehouse, located at the top of a four-story building, because “his computer games did not go well.” The fire did an estimated four million won in damage.

Nice going, kid. It’s good that Korea isn’t letting a nasty stereotype stop them from being socially awkward.