Krispy Kreme doughnut beer signals end of craft revolution

All movements have a messy and disorganized end. Usually, the revolutionaries end up eating themselves. The French Revolution overthrew a king and ended in state murders of anyone who didn’t pass an ideological purity test. Republicans misread the election of Donald Trump and nominated a pedophile for the Senate. The list goes on. Now, the craft beer movement has officially collapsed on itself.

The end has come in Florida, where most things go to die. There, a pair of breweries have teamed up to create a beer brewed with glazed and creme-filled doughnuts from Krispy Kreme. Hidden Springs Ale Works and Arkane Aleworks are bringing Floridians a Russian imperial stout that checks in at 12.5% ABV and will treat your senses to a beer, but “hopefully with some doughnut flavor,” according to one brewer.

The doughnut beer will be hitting the shelves in January. Just in time for all those New Year’s diets.

Krispy Kreme glaze looks a lot like meth, cops say

Be careful the next time you grab some doughnuts, it could land you in jail.

In Orlando, Florida, a 64-year-old man was pulled over and charged with possession of methamphetamine. Turned out to just be some glaze left over from a Krispy Kreme doughnut. At the time, cops thought it was a crystal, and some field tests found there was residue of illegal substances on the car’s dashboard. Weeks later, lab tests found there was nothing illicit at all. The only thing he was guilty of was a bi-weekly Krispy Kreme habit.,

So let the news go far and wide: Krispy Kreme puts meth in their doughnuts.