Teenagers attempting crime about as smart as you expect

SG doesn’t necessarily condone the cool crime of theft, but if we were, we be okay-ish with someone rappelling down a cable and stealing Guy Fieri’s Lamborghini. But if you get caught, you’re S.O.L.

Well, a teenager did attempt the above last year and was caught. Still, it’s kind of impressive in its own sort of way.

Alas, that’s where the admiration ends. The aforementioned teenager, Max Wade, who’s in jail but will be transferred out of a juvenile detention center into county butt-rape jail soon, was involved in a break-in attempt. As teenagers are wont to do and be unimpressive, it will only be listed in the history books as an attempt. Why? Because the tools involved in the break-in were sledge hammers. Against concrete walls.

Talk about needing a better breed of criminals.

You don’t see this type of thing happening to Catman

The Joker. Hugo Strange. Bane. Leviathan. Doctor Simon Hurt. All of these villains are seriously contenders for the greatest adversary to Batman, and yet, none a one of them can claim it. Oh sure, they’ve all done some incredibly crippling (some literally more than others) acts of terror to the Caped Crusader, but when it comes down to it, they’re not the worst enemy of dark vengeance.

No, that would be Captain Paul Starks of the Montgomery County (Maryland) police department.