Space. The Final Frontier. For the longest time, these voyages to the great beyond were known only by we noble humans and our primate prisoners. There, in space, we could practice numerous scientific activities that could thus better our race in our war against those hideous animals. But now, a new threat has emerged.
Yes, bats are now attaching themselves to space shuttle launches, undoubtedly in the ignoble hope that they can take down said space shuttle. Obviously this means that the animals have merged together into a horrible, unfied force of evil. As such, the bats, having nothing to live for now that they’re not allowed to eat those smalls bugs, have decided to become suicidal monsters.
The only coping thought that we can have regarding this news is that the bat most probably suffered a horrible and painful death upon initial launch out of the Earth’s atmosphere. If somehow, it managed to survive that, then we can take solace in the fact that it suffered an even more horrible and painful deaht, and as such, is now floating somewhere in space as a piece of space debris, hopefully causing numerous damage to some bothersome alien. Take that, ET!