Tyranny watch: California lawyers may be banned from banging clients

This country was founded on some basic freedoms, such as the freedom of speech, the freedom of religion, and the freedom to have sex with those you represent in court. One of those sacred freedoms is under attack.

In ban-happy California, the state’s largest bar association is proposing a ban on attorney-client sexual relations, as part of its overhaul of its ethics rules. Under the proposal, lawyers who debrief with their clients could be disbarred.

Freedom-loving lawyers are understandably against the proposal.

The urge to LinkIn … if you know what we mean ;)

"Hey, baby. Are you tired? Because you've been running through my spreadsheets all night."
“Hey, baby. Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my spreadsheets all night.”

A recent exchange on LinkedIn between two British lawyers has the Internet asking, “Is LinkedIn the new Tinder?” And by the Internet, we mean LinkedIn, whose staff and shareholders now falsely hope that someone has found a use for Facebook’s boring accountant brother.

Charlotte Proudman, a relatively young attorney, received a message from an older one, Alexander Carter-Silk, the sole extent being to compliment her on her looks. This was after couching it in a warning that what he was about to say “is probably horrendously politically incorrect,” which shows us that the British even trump us in manners when ‘trolling for strange online.

Proudman told Carter-Silk off, saying she was using LinkedIn for business connections, not for an old game of “Let’s Leave the Funny Barrister Wigs On,” and has since become a pariah online as a “feminazi.” But she’s not the only one. Other women are reporting having to use frumpier pictures on the site to avoid unwanted advances from male users on the site. So, maybe it is the new Tinder?

In any case, the Guys would like our wives to know that, if our names show up in a hacked list of LinkedIn users, we only signed up straight out of college to hook up with hot recruiters and don’t even use our accounts anymore.

Woaaaaah sweet drink of mine

Let’s face it, folks, free soda is really, really important. Sure, the economy is in the outhouse, most of the world hates us and we’re still fighting two wars, but when it comes down to it, where the hell is my free soda?

Dr. Pepper promised it would give every American a free soda if Guns N’ Roses ever released its album “Chinese Democracy,” which was released this month. The release of the album was highly anticipated–a 17-year wait–because at times it looks as if democracy in China would happen before “Chinese Democracy.” The good doctor held firm to his promise, and for 24 hours, a coupon was available on the soda’s Web site. Which of course, crashed within a few hours because an overwhelming demand for something free.

Apparently, you really don’t want to make Dr. Pepper drinkers mad. GN’R is suing the soda because of all the negativity found online toward Axl Rose as a result of the promotion.

“When you go on the blogs and you read the responses from the fans, they associated Axl with this promotion … and blame him for the fact that they didn’t get their free soda,” said GN’R lawyer Laurie Soriano.

Really, lawyer dude? People are upset with Axl because they didn’t get a free 12 oz. can of sugar water? You don’t think it’s because your client not only made his fans wait until they were sending their kids off to college before releasing a new album? How about that the two singles released off of it are terrible, think that’s a reason?