The Baseball Hall of Fame is, like a 1960s bus, divided in half. There is one committee for determining who gets inducted from prior to integration, and another committee for selecting inductees from post-integrated Major League Baseball.
This is justified because we have no idea how well white baseball players would have done and which teams would have won had black ball players not been banned from major league play. The Negro League had a number of stars that would have changed the entire competitive layout and style of play in MLB. For all we know, a team with Satchel Paige pitching would have destroyed the Yankees batting line-up of Mantle, DiMaggio and Gehrig.
And now that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has failed to nominate any actors of color for two years in a row, we should consider putting an asterisk next to last year’s and this year’s winners. Continue reading →
Sorry we missed each other last week. I was busy spending my regular-sized weekend drinking beer and whitewater rafting. Not at the same time, though. That would have meant a lot of spilled beer. Although going over the rapids drunk probably would have enhanced the fun and maybe helped me to forget how cold it was. If you were busy being named the Ebola czar this week, odds are you missed it.
Sorry, bloody sorry
This week, Bono apologized to the world for pushing U2’s newest album into the faces of every iTunes user ever. The frontman said that the band didn’t mean any harm to the people who complained about getting something for free, they just wanted to make a big entrance with the new album. Now if he would apologize for his last decade of work.
How does that even come up in an interview?
Author John Grisham found himself in hot water this week when he said he thinks that courts should go easy on guys caught causally or accidentally viewing child pornography. He cited a friend who drunkenly downloaded pictures of girls who weren’t 18 yet but was caught and labeled a sex offender. Public outcry didn’t care for his position. Grisham apologized, saying, “Yes, I believe they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!”
The ocean is broke
Actor Leonardo DiCaprio, named messenger of peace and master of the universe by the U.N., donated $2 million to the ocean this week. Big deal, that old lady donated priceless jewelry to the ocean at the end of Titanic. (Spoiler alert.)
I watched the Golden Globes last night. It’s out there now, no taking it back. What I can say is that it wasn’t really something intentional, it was just sort of, “Well, this is on. This ought to kill a little bit while I eat.” Then I couldn’t turn it off.
I’m not a fan of award shows, (and judging from their ratings in recent, neither are you) I just find the whole “industry patting itself on the back” thing is pretty trite. I may pay attention to who wins the bigger Oscars, but I certainly don’t mind missing it. In fact, I probably haven’t really been excited for an award show since the MTV Video Music Awards back when I was in high school, when the bassist from Rage Against the Machine could get arrested for climbing the stage scenery on live television.
So yes, it’s been quite a while. And yet, there I was last night on my couch, learning about what not to do when hosting a fancy event. Continue reading →
It’s Friday, which means only one thing: news from Tinseltown! For those of you who didn’t lose your virginity in a depression (and recessions don’t count), we mean Hollywood: land of dreams and stained casting couches, home of the neediest waiters and baristas in the world!
Did your parents ever explain to you where Hollywood leading men come from? They’re made, just like mafia dons! For instance: Mark Wahlberg and Leonardo DiCaprio made Taylor Lautner yesterday, just as Tom Selleck and John Stamos once did to them back in the ’90s. And they received their nods from Burt Reynolds and Henry Winkler and so on and so forth, et cetera, et cetera.
Let’s hear it for Taylor Lautner! May his abs never congeal into a gunt, his face never wrinkle or develop jowls and his career never end as an Old Spice spokesperson!
You may now return to your dumpster-diving, and thanks for reading this on stolen Starbucks wifi.
You know what irks me? Having to apologize to myself whenever I watch a movie starring Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Edward Norton, John and Joan Cusack, Martin Sheen, Darryl Hannah, Edward James Olmos, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, George Clooney, Christopher Reeves or any other politically-involved actor.
The same internal dialogue happens during the opening credits:
“OK, Rick. You’re just watching their movie. You’re not really paying them, more like paying their producers who only want you to see explosions and sequels.
“Just pretend you didn’t accidentally read how they’re really into environmentalism, peace or walking again. (Thank god the ‘Superman’s Grounded’ hoopla is over and done with!) All you wanted to do was find out they were voted ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ again or made a sex tape to Google later.
“It’s not your fault they told you things you didn’t want to hear. You can just watch this movie where they read lines like the meat robots they actually are.” Continue reading →