WHAT DID WE LOSE? OUR CASE!

SeriouslyGuys like to think of ourselves as very, very world-reknowned. I mean, we have to be in order to get you, our adoring audience and fans, the very best in news. We also like to think of ourselves as very attentive and determined. After all, who else would have brought you the news about the epic “Lesbos v. Lesbians” in May? What site would update you in June when Lesbos got their time in court? Certainly not the official Lilith Fair site, I can tell you that. And what site gives the final piece in this saga? SeriouslyGuys, that’s who.

Speaking of which, yes, it would seem that the case has finally come to a close. A court in Athens recently ruled that a word could not truly define the identity of those that reside in that area, and as such, lesbians was a fine enough word to describe gay groups. Also, the cost of the word lesbian is approximately $366.20 USD. Key words were spoken by Vassilis Chirdaris, head of G.L.U.G. (no, I swear to God that I’m not making up that acronym):

This is a good decision for lesbians everywhere

Personally, I’ll definitely agree with him. I’m hard pressed to think up of anything that goes along with “TOTALLY HOT ______ ACTION”.

Giving while the giving’s … free

Nine women and twelve men have been arrested in Greece for participating in an unsanctioned oral sex competition (as if there’s anything close to that being listed as sanctioned) on a beach in Greece. Joe Francis has been cleared of any connection to the event, as he was too busy being in jail to schedule it. The lesson learned? The next time this happens, make sure that it takes place in Madison Square Garden, like most big name sporting events. Or, the Greek island of Lesbos, which we hear is quite nice this time of year, if a bit confused about its identity.

We do have one question though: “encouraging obscene behavior?” You can really be arrested for that in Greece? Just what are the requirements to fulfill such an act?

OK, maybe that was more than just one question.

WHAT DID WE GET? OUR TIME IN COURT!

So, in May, SG reported to you about how Lesbians are trying to get their own name. Well, their time in court is here.

Lesbians from Lesbos are suing the other lesbians because apparently being a Lesbian doesn’t mean that you’re, you know … into lesbians. Attending Lilith Fair, though, still continues to mean that you are. Did you understand all of that? Because despite the number of times that I’ve read this story, all I got out of it was a headache.

WHAT DO WE WANT?

OUR OWN NAME!

WHEN DO WE WANT IT?

RIGHT AFTER LILITH FAIR!

“Campaigners on the Greek island of Lesbos are to go to court in an attempt to stop a gay rights organisation from using the term “lesbian” … publisher Dimitris Lambrou says it causes daily problems to the social life of Lesbos’s inhabitants.”

I can sort of see that being a problem. I mean, if I went to some fabled island in a drunken haze, only to have all of my hopes and dreams come crashing down, I might cause some daily problems to the social life of the island’s inhabitants too.