A tragic ending to a fairytale relationship

We’ve got some sad news today. It seems that even with things thawing out in the hemisphere, hearts are not melting in Alaska. Yes, to the shock of the country, Bristol Palin and her fianc√©, Levi Johnston, have broken up. Even more disheartening is the fact that it apparently happened “weeks ago.” Hmmmm, wasn’t there some sort of romantic holiday a few weeks ago?

NO!!! It can’t be true! Please tell me Bristol and That Dude Who Knocked Her Up didn’t break up on Valentine’s Day!!!

It’s sad but true. The one-time political tool of the Republican party is no more. Their two-month-old symbol of hypocrisy at home, Tripp, however, remains ever present. In February, grandmother and Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin told FOX News’ Greta Van Susteren that the couple was doing fine and planned to get married after high school.

Wait, has nobody told mom yet? When you do, hide her guns.