Tag: liberal

Maybe number 5, letter ‘p’ can foot CPB bill

Do you smell that? In the air? No, it’s not (just) leftover Astroglide from yesterday’s Valentine’s celebrations. It’s the aroma of pennies being saved and earned in this year’s round of budget cuts!

The President has his plan, but Republicans have theirs; and theirs includes killing Sesame Street or at least forcing the simpler speaking Muppets into a voucher program. House Republicans want PBS, and NPR, off the government dole for what they perceive as over 40 years of unchecked liberal picture-moving.

You know what? They’re kind of right. PBS never really went out of their way to program shows that pander to conservatives. Maybe tax dollars shouldn’t help fund their programming if they ignore half of the political population.

And, so long as we’re trimming the politically-biased fat off of our pork, then perhaps it’s also time to eliminate churches’ tax-free status. After all, they cater almost exclusively to conservatives and even tell their donors how to vote.

What’s up, Jimmy?

Earlier, former President Jimmy Carter went on record to allege that much of the anti-Obama fervor is based on racism.

OK, that makes some sense. He was a PUSA. He knows what it’s like to be reviled as history’s greatest monster a liberal president.

Now, he’s chimed in on Kanye West’s interruption of Taylor Swift at the MTV Video Music Awards. This means that officially everyone in the world has commented on the VMAs and that Jimmy Carter watches MTV.

Either Carter’s planning to run for president again, or he’s angling for his own cable show.

Spider-Man: Does whatever a libruhl can

Following Sarah Palin’s attack on the media … to the media, other unfortunate GOP mouthpieces are tripping over their shoelaces to cry about unfair tactics.

The latest big nasty libruhl elitist? The Amazing Spider-Man.

Debbie Schlussel attacked the decidedly campy inauguration issue, where Spidey foils a plot by the Chameleon to ruin Obama’s big day, as “[embodying] their far-left ideology.” He almost got away with saving the President, if it wasn’t for “the fist bump!”

Look, folks, let’s get something straight here: they’re absolutely right. (Not just rightist.)

The news media is all written by one person, Al Peterson. (Notice the eerie similarity to Al Qaeda?) Al writes for all news media publications out there. If it doesn’t attack conservatives, then it’s not a news piece … because Al didn’t write it.

The same goes for comic books. All those writing credits and different publications are just a front for one actual comic book writer, and boy oh boy, does he hate Republicans. Sure, every president since FDR has been saved by every comic book superhero, but it’s all in how they do it.

For instance, it’s pretty cool to be saved by Spider-Man and be called a hero. It’s not so cool to be saved by Aquaman, who then asks you for cab fare back to the coast. (You know, because your economic policies failed.)

So, if you’ve been personally insulted today by news you didn’t want to read, chances are you’re a conservative, and yes, we will feel your pain. (Pussy.)