Science: Maybe squid, octopi came from space

Yet another prediction from “The Simpsons” come true.

There are a lot of weird looking animals on this planet. Sometimes we even say they look like aliens. It’s possible we’ve been right the whole time.

According to a study published in a peer-reviewed journal, squid and octopi may have come from outer space. Octopi have the ability to edit their own RNA, which is an ability not found in any other branch of the animal kingdom. Given that recent studies have found that it is possible for organic molecules to exist in space, researchers argue that life may have come from other worlds. They argue that the scientific community can not rule out that squid or octopus eggs, or even the animals themselves, came to Earth millions and millions of years ago this way.

Science just backed up Prometheus.

To long life!

If you ever pulled a muscle from excessive birthday toasting, then it will come as no surprise to you that drinkers outlive non-drinkers.

Why? Nobody knows. The raw data just indicates that teetotalers tend to die sooner than heavy drinkers, while moderate drinkers will inherit the best seats in the bar when they’re both gone.

Our personal theory? Drunken stasis.

Just like in the movie Alien, drunkards enter a deliberate low-metabolic state–or black-out. When one emerges from the blackout, they find themselves several hours, days or even years into future, though the trip passed in an instant for them.

The world of the future is frightening, bright and loud. It may take several hours to recover from their time jump, know as a hangover. That time is best spent rehydrating with Gatorade and learning what history you missed while out.

The only danger is of staying in stasis too long and awaking in a world populated by damn dirty apes! And no more Jameson’s.