UK police look to give mystery amputee the finger

London 2010 … does anyone know what these guys ate before the Olympics? Because they’re clearly missing a few fingers.

Every summer is the Summer of Something. 1998 was the Summer of Asteroid Movies. The year before that was the Summer of George. Last summer was the Summer of Thinking 2016 is as Bad as It Will Ever Get … which means we had to find a new theme for this year instead of reheating last summer’s leftovers. So, we’re now at least waist-deep into the Summer of Mystery Amputations.

The odd thing about the Summer of Mystery Amputations, or SoMA, is that none of the amputations happened this year. In fact, many of these extremities were originally removed in previous decades or even millennia. But, today’s is much more recent: a finger found seven years ago in the U.K. that doesn’t match any open cases and was never claimed by anyone.

So, if you’ve lost a finger in London 2010, and can describe it, the police would like to free up a little space in their office fridge for an extra Cornetto.

Yeah, and some frogs can change genders

Sit down.

Trust us, you need to be sitting for this. We know you’re usually sitting down when you’re on your computer, but we had to make sure. It sounds good, and besides, you may be reading this on your phone.

Sitting now? OK, good.

Salamanders can re-grow legs. That’s shocking enough, but now science wants to do the same thing to us. Let me just say right now that I enjoy living my live dry almost all the time. I enjoy breathing oxygen and I like having teeth, too. I have no urge to be a salamander.