Tag: little league

Breastfeeding our ailing national pastime

A Los Angeles area Little League is in dire straits and could really use a miracle right now. And that’s when some angels show up to save the day — some naughty angels, that is.

The Lennox Little League, a poor urban community, was almost unable to pay increasing fees and can no longer sell grilled concessions thanks to regulations imposed by the K-8 Lennox School District. The Jet Strip, a local strip club whose manager serves on the all-volunteer Lennox Coordinating Council, donated $1200 to cover them for the year.

And it makes sense. Without future baseball players, who will support the strippers of tomorrow? Golfers? Please. There aren’t entire teams of golfers.

Nine year old banned from little league for being too awesome

Seriously.

Basically, the little guy was 9 and already had a 40 mph fastball. Essentially, the league banned him because he was too good for them. When the team refused to acknowledge the suspension and had him take the mound, the opposing team forfeited and went home. Sadly, though, it’s pretty obvious he was kicked out for refusing to join the right team. People only put up with those who are better than them if sucking up will benefit them. If sucking up to the alpha male will not offer any benefit then the betas would sooner kill him and take his harem for themselves. On the upside, he might be noticed by a major league team due to this. Nothing says “really good” like getting kicked out because everyone else looks like crud in comparison.

SG tried to interview the kid, but was told “No, you can’t go down there, if you do, his fastball will literally rip your face off.” Which works for me. Luckily though, he is certifiably Michael Bay approved.