Shocking headline of the day

Attention readers in Amsterdam: Be on the lookout for several dangerous subjects who have reportedly busted out of jail. They are said to be furry and smell kind of bad.

Folks, this is why we need to kill all the animals, every now and then they get out of captivity and run amok, endangering us all. The most recent incident was in Amsterdam this week, when several different kinds of animals worked together to get out of a circus, or as we call them, traveling POW camps.

A giraffe, according to the headline, gathered “troops,” which means 15 camels, a few llamas and a potbellied pig for comic relief. The giraffe kicked open a fence and led its squadron of animalism into the Dutch dawn.