Tag: lobsters

Turn-around IS fair play

Warriors, we’re in trouble no more. Last week, a group of troubled Tibetan Buddhists released a number of lobsters back into the water around Massachusetts under the banner of “religion.”

A group of lobstermen (they’re human, not a horrific half arthropod, half man hybrid) then caught the exact number of lobsters that had been released by the kung-fu wielding people: 534.

That’s karma.

Still, it apparently works out for all. The Buddhists were still given credit in the “good column” for their deed, while the lobstermen, heroic already for their tireless job of providing food for people and keeping the waters clean of living atrocities, can now reap the benefits of a catch that will probably net them a tidy little profit. And the lobsters are shown just who’s boss.

Once again, that’s karma.

A little racism is OK in war

Warriors, we’re in trouble.

A group of Tibetan Buddhists released 534 live lobsters back into the Atlantic Ocean, just off the coast of Massachusetts, last Wednesday. They claim that this was part of their observance of Chokhur Duchen, or the anniversary of Buddha’s turning of the Dharma Wheel. But we know better.

There’s only one thing Buddhists are known for more than Richard Gere, and that thing is Kung Fu.

Maybe Bubba Gump was onto something

"Get in my belly and on my tee!"Lobsters: if they’re not the second most jerks of the sea (number one on the hit list continuing to be dolphins), then they’re certainly built to be. With an armored carapace, large claws made solely for destruction and a dead look in their eyes, the beasts are essentially zombies of the sea.

Or medieval accountants.

The human race has long known the delicious spoils of war against the crustaceans, but no longer will we know just that reward. Thanks to a scientist, we’ll now be able to deal with the arthropods as the Native Americans did with the buffalo.

Well, that is, if the Native Americans ever played golf.

The great fish robbery

You may have heard about the latest commodity to start getting stolen: copper. Yes, the copper market has skyrocketed as the metal has gotten more and more precious due to the rapid growth in China.

Hey hey hey! Come back! This isn’t about the copper market!

But it seems there is a new market with a product being worth more and more. When this happens, the product comes under danger for being stolen. That product is lobster. Over 200 lbs of live lobster were stolen in Florida, probably to be sold to another seafood restaurant.

However, this blog hopes they were not stolen by a so-called animal activist group. Those lobsters are dangerous and need to be exterminated, if they are eaten in the process, that just makes it even better.