Science: Drink coffee daily for a long, jittery life

Coffee — it’s what we drink when trying to erase the mistakes of the night before. But new research has found that it could also be a life saver.

A pair of studies conducted by researchers around the world has found that a cup of coffee will basically keep you from dying early from anything. By “anything,” we have to assume they mean any illnesses, because there is no amount of coffee that will keep you from dying when you’re hit by a bus.

Scientists said that a cup a day for the rest of your life basically adds three months to the life of a man, and one month to a woman’s life. Having three cups a day increased the health benefits.

We’re hoping these findings don’t mean that people who drink candy bar lattes all year aren’t around any longer than they should be.

Study: Dad bod may lead to longer life

Could you stand to lose a few pounds? You may not want to, tubby, because you have found the secret to longevity.

According to a recent study in the Netherlands, people who had a view extra pounds on them tended to live longer than those with a lower Body Mass Index, and of course, longer than heavier people, with a higher body mass index. So-called scientists caution that this study doesn’t conclusively prove anything, but we know better. We now have documented evidence that being a little overweight is a good thing.

Things are looking up for those of you who have Rick Snee in The Guys’ death pool.

More proof that beer is the key to immortality

Mark Behrends is 110 years old. Once you hit that level, you’re only asked one question. Say it with us know: “What’s the secret of your longevity?” Behrends says beer is the reason he’s been around long enough to see two different centuries.

That’s a great thing. It seems like every week there’s another study talking about how beer is good for us. The only thing here is that Behrends said he drinks only one beer per day. Can you imagine? Who drinks just one beer?

On second thought, nobody wants to live forever.