Science: Don’t move in with your partner

So you and your significant other are really happy and you’ve decided to move in together. Congratulations! Hope you’re not planning on having sex anymore.

According to a recent study, cohabitation with a partner leads to decreased sexual interest in that person, regardless of gender. The study did find that women were more likely to lose interest in sex than men (tell us about it), but both genders were affected. Researchers believe this is because the longer a relationship lasts, the more likely it is to turn from passion to compassion.

The guys have a simpler theory: You share a bathroom with someone for a while and eventually you stop finding them sexy.

Let’s all read about snails in love

A lot of raw nerves today. Maybe we should focus on something totally unrelated. How about snail love?

Jeremy the snail has a shell that curves out to the left, rather than the right, like nearly all other snails. This meant that other parts of his anatomy were aligned the opposite way, making it impossible for him to mate with normal snails. But now, Jeremy has found Lefty, a snail that shares his condition. Thanks to a story done on Jeremy and his owner a little while back, another snail enthusiast gas come forward with Jeremy’s potential mate. Congrats to the happy couple!

Of course this means they could breed a race of freak snails that we’ll have to exterminate, but that’s a problem for tomorrow. Warm and fuzzy.

The kind of love where traffic stops

It's going to be a bitch trying to get to the wedding.
It’s going to be a bitch trying to get to the wedding.

There is no love on the highway, and there is no love in Houston.

It’s the kind of thing you’d imagine in the final act of a romantic comedy: a man stops traffic on a busy highway to ask the woman he loves for her hand in marriage. (She said yes.) It was all caught on camera and posted on Instagram. But things may not be happily ever after just yet for the engaged couple. The groom-to-be has been charged with a misdemeanor for shutting down Interstate 45 in Houston for an estimated 35 seconds, because Texans take their ability to roam very seriously. The bride may face charges, herself.

Of course, when the story went viral, it was all OK, because there was an outpouring of love and support from the online community. Kidding! They were rounding criticized online by people who they had never met, because the internet is horrible. Cheers to the happy couple once they get out of jail!

Study: You were hotter when you were 24, ladies

Ladies, you’re all beautiful, no matter what your age. Unfortunately, guys think your attractiveness goes down once you hit 25. We’re not saying it, data is saying it.

Christian Rudder co-founded dating site OKCupid, and he’s got a whole lot of data about what his customers have said they look for in a potential mate over the years. The data shows that women find men attractive generally near their age, maybe a year or two younger. But to men aged 20 to 50, women look their most attractive between 20 and 24. Every single age group said this. It doesn’t mean men don’t find women attractive when they are 25 or older, just that they probably wish they met those women back when they were fresh out of college.

So ladies, make sure to find The One by age 26 or so, or say hello to spinsterhood.

‘Tis better to have loved and lost weight

"Thanks to oxytocin, I only ate one fistful of chocolate cheese cake. The resulting orgasm was a little embarrassing, though."
“Thanks to oxytocin, I only ate one fistful of chocolate cheese cake. The resulting orgasm was a little embarrassing, though.”

Researchers at Harvard Medical School in Boston tested an oxytocin nasal spray on men to measure its effect on appetite and food choices. The Guys don’t have to explain oxytocin — the hormone that makes both finches and humans feel like they’re in love — to our regular readers. (And we just did to non-regular readers. How about that?)

On average, overweight and obese men who inhaled a spritz of oxytocin ate 122 fewer calories in general and 80 fewer calories from fat at breakfast than those who sucked down some placebo. So, while oxytocin does help men feel more in love with people, it has no effect on man’s love of bacon. Of course, it’s entirely possible that it’s impossible for men to love bacon any more than we already do, and no spray can make us love 110 percent.

Unfortunately, oxytocin nasal spray is not available for sale in the U.S., so you’ll either have to order it from Europe or just moon extra hard during your meals.

Find your one true love in World of Warcraft

If you’re looking to meet that special someone, there’s a good chance you’re looking online. However, you might be looking in the wrong place.

According to a recent study, of the people surveyed who met their spouse online over half of them didn’t meet on a dating site. They met each other in chatrooms (those still exist?), community websites, and even online video games like World of Warcraft. In fact, more people met in online games than on social media.

Spell of enchantment cast.

Love is on the rails, every where and every town

Where to you go to meet potential lovers? The club? The mall? Furry conventions? How about the train? That could actually work if you were to ride on the JR East’s Koumi line in Japan.

There’s one train car that is actually hosting a singles event! Singles aged 25 to 40 will board the fancy hybrid train that passes along the scenic Yatsugatake mountains, going from Kobuchizawa Station in Yamanashi Prefecture to Komoro Station in Nagano Prefecture and back again, giving guys and gals plenty of time (4.5 hours) to mingle and make a connection. It’s quite literally speed dating.

“Guy and girl train enthusiasts, get together on Japan’s most fun train!” says an enthusiastic Sumio Taga, the organizer of the event.

With Japan’s rich and stereotypical history of men and the train system, that doesn’t sound creepy at all!

Robot love

Japan was once an empire, then we nuked them and they became our allies. They went through an industrial revolution and subsequently went nutso. (There! Now you don’t have to read that history of Japan.) This is especially true when it comes to love.

First, a man was allowed to marry a cartoon character. Now, a couple (who physically exist in real life) were married by a robot. The happy couple agreed to a ceremony officiated by an I-Fairy, which is not, in fact, a Pokemon. It’s actually a robot that apparently is also a justice of the peace.

We are only steps away from having robots that we can have divorce us. Progress!

Romance and handcuffs

It’s sort of spring outside, live is in bloom. And when what is the most romantic country in the world? Germany, of course. (Half credit if you said France.) The German language itself oozes romance, despite not actually being a romantic language. HA! Word play!

Somewhere in Germany, a woman awoke to the sound of someone breaking into her home after scaling to her balcony. She immediately called the police. When the authorities arrived, the man jumped down and ran off into the night. He was caught, bottle of wine in one hand and flowers in the other. It was the woman’s boyfriend.

Unfortunately, the boyfriend had an outstanding warrant, so he got carted off to jail. He gave the bottle of wine to his arresting officers. Such is love.

That’s it, I’m not following you anymore

If you’re like us, you hate the Internet. Wait, come back! We mean we hate most of the Internet and what it has done to things like our grammar, spelling and forms of communication.

According to an English study, it’s only getting worse. Of 2,000 people surveyed, about a third said they used social networking, email and so on to end their relationship. We can only assume this means to break up with someone, not as a means of doing something that will make your partner leave you.

The worst part is that some people broke up with their boyfriend or girlfriend on Twitter. Yes, they tweeted the dumping. Worst. Retweet. Ever.