Love is on the rails, every where and every town

Where to you go to meet potential lovers? The club? The mall? Furry conventions? How about the train? That could actually work if you were to ride on the JR East’s Koumi line in Japan.

There’s one train car that is actually hosting a singles event! Singles aged 25 to 40 will board the fancy hybrid train that passes along the scenic Yatsugatake mountains, going from Kobuchizawa Station in Yamanashi Prefecture to Komoro Station in Nagano Prefecture and back again, giving guys and gals plenty of time (4.5 hours) to mingle and make a connection. It’s quite literally speed dating.

“Guy and girl train enthusiasts, get together on Japan’s most fun train!” says an enthusiastic Sumio Taga, the organizer of the event.

With Japan’s rich and stereotypical history of men and the train system, that doesn’t sound creepy at all!

Robot love

Japan was once an empire, then we nuked them and they became our allies. They went through an industrial revolution and subsequently went nutso. (There! Now you don’t have to read that history of Japan.) This is especially true when it comes to love.

First, a man was allowed to marry a cartoon character. Now, a couple (who physically exist in real life) were married by a robot. The happy couple agreed to a ceremony officiated by an I-Fairy, which is not, in fact, a Pokemon. It’s actually a robot that apparently is also a justice of the peace.

We are only steps away from having robots that we can have divorce us. Progress!

Romance and handcuffs

It’s sort of spring outside, live is in bloom. And when what is the most romantic country in the world? Germany, of course. (Half credit if you said France.) The German language itself oozes romance, despite not actually being a romantic language. HA! Word play!

Somewhere in Germany, a woman awoke to the sound of someone breaking into her home after scaling to her balcony. She immediately called the police. When the authorities arrived, the man jumped down and ran off into the night. He was caught, bottle of wine in one hand and flowers in the other. It was the woman’s boyfriend.

Unfortunately, the boyfriend had an outstanding warrant, so he got carted off to jail. He gave the bottle of wine to his arresting officers. Such is love.

That’s it, I’m not following you anymore

If you’re like us, you hate the Internet. Wait, come back! We mean we hate most of the Internet and what it has done to things like our grammar, spelling and forms of communication.

According to an English study, it’s only getting worse. Of 2,000 people surveyed, about a third said they used social networking, email and so on to end their relationship. We can only assume this means to break up with someone, not as a means of doing something that will make your partner leave you.

The worst part is that some people broke up with their boyfriend or girlfriend on Twitter. Yes, they tweeted the dumping. Worst. Retweet. Ever.

Number 16 has nice hashtags

Are you single? Do you want to find that special somebody in 140 characters or less? Then flittering may be the way for someone to finally retweet you every now and then.

In Canada, singles were invited to flirt via Twitter. Yes, they all had to be in the same room, but they didn’t actually have to talk to each other, which you know, isn’t really important in a relationship anyway. Everyone wore a number and watched their cell phones for tweets that might be in reference to them.

Unsurprisingly, the events organizer claims that flittering makes it easier for shy people to meet someone. More importantly, it makes it so shy people never have to overcome their paralyzing fears of interaction with the opposite sex.

The Guys prefer stwittering, stalking people on Facebook.

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Roman Holiday’

One can’t help but wonder how Roman Holiday would have been different is it was made today instead of in 1953. The Gregory Peck-Audrey Hepburn classic features a reporter in Rome and an incognito princess both pretending they’re someone else. Of course, he knows she’s playing hooky from her royal family and he’s out to write the story of a lifetime (with photographer pal Eddie Albert in a priceless role). She on the other hand is oblivious to what’s going on. She wants to have a little fun outside the watchful eyes of her keepers. Of course they fall in looooove along the way.

Guys, this is a good thing for you. Stick around to find out why. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Roman Holiday’

Make out sessions? Aisle three

We’re just days away from Valentine’s Day, and many people will be shopping for some love. If you are among those going stag this year (we have a certain movie-reviewing Guy for you and) you should check out our how to fall in love guide. If you are lonely and in China (Really? How many million people are there to choose from?) you may want to head down to the supermarket. Love is on sale.

The “I’m Looking For You” market, which we believe has an extensive meat section, has brought in over 1,000 customers and helped create 50 couples, which means there’s a one in ten chance you’ll find someone. So if you’re low on toilet paper, you may want to head over to the love supermarket, just stay away from the condom aisle, you’ll look creepy.

How will we believe in love now?!

SeriouslyGuys is known for often broadcasting viewpoints that take pleasure in the misfortune of others. But, we’re not monsters all the time. We believe in a thing called love (just listen to the rhythm of your heart).

But, that belief? Frankly, it’s a little shaken today.

Karl Rove destroys marriage

Karl Rove–who once questioned why we would “throw out 5,000 years of understanding the institution of marriage”– threw out his understanding of the 5,000 institution of marriage to his second wife. If Karl can’t make marriage work, what chance do the rest of us heteros have?

Won’t they stay together for the kids that obsess over them?

And, in news that dismayed all The Guys (but mostly Bryan Schools), Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner are no longer dating. This is the most biggest news to impact our Taylor-driven love lives since our office Jonathan Taylor Thomas poster was declared child pornography.

I’m taking you to lover’s court

You know how all those women are coming out saying they slept with Tiger Woods? (We’re cutting back on covering this story, we swear.) That might not be a great idea for the 10+ ladies. It seems that if you are the other man or woman responsible in breaking up a marriage, you can be sued.

This is our country.

It’s called alienation of affection, and you really don’t want to get slapped with it–at least if you live in one of the seven states that recognize it. If you happen to be the one to lose out in the love triangle, you can get over $1 million to help console you and get you through the lonely nights.

Love means never having to sign another treaty

Love. It’s the same all over the world. Unfortunately, so are the downsides of relationships, like break ups (and children).

Imagine two lovers joined together as one, as they had for many, many years. The man starts becoming more and more abusive, so the woman declares herself independent of the man and wins her battle. As with some break ups, the two can’t remain away for too long and start fighting again, with no change in the outcome.

Many years later, the woman comes to the man’s rescue, in the process becoming more powerful than she had ever thought she could become. Now the man sees the woman for her strong, feminine power and respects her for it. In truth, he does pretty much whatever she says.

The man in this story is the British Empire and the strong, empowered woman is the U.S. In case you were wondering the two lovers today are still friends with benefits.