While we’ve been focusing on the Knut the man-eating polar bear story lately, it’s important to note that there are other animals in Germany. These animals are just as dangerous, not only because they are animals, but because they are German. We all know how it goes when the Germans get riled up about stuff, same goes for the animal population.
No better an example of German animals and their freaky German fetishes is there than a swan love story in Muenster. There, Petra the swan fell in love with a swan paddleboat in 2006. However, Petra was later separated from her unnatural love with a seagoing vessel, in hopes she would find a new mate. She did, but he flew off.
“A zoo statement says that Petra ‘appears to feel lonely’ and is swimming around in an agitated state. The solution? On Friday, she will be taken back to the nearby lake and her faithful paddleboat.”
Not only is this an abomination against God and the natural order of things, but it means Muenster will no longer have its main attraction, Petra the emo swan.
Keeping with the love theme this week, China is a nation that is all about the love. Heck, it’s big on the color red, so everyday there must be like Valentine’s Day, right? Yes, and according to a document just released by the U.S. State Department, the chairman of the love was none other than Chairman Mao Zedong.
In 1973, during trade talks with Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, Mao offered to trade U.S. goods for Chinese women. Now that’s how you get the trade talks going!
“We don’t have much. What we have in excess is women. So if you want them we can give a few of those to you, some tens of thousands.”
Mao later upped his offer to 10 million Chinese women, apparently the Chinese women market had been hit hard by China’s struggling economy and the failed Great Leap Forward. This blog remembers the day when you could sell a Chinese woman for a single barrel of oil. Ah …
Kissinger, no stranger to love himself (he once said, “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”), did not flatly turn down the offer. Instead, he said the U.S. would have to “study” the offer. One can only imagine the long nights of studying Chinese women Kissinger had to put in after that. But he did it for the good of the country.