Arizona kills Home EKKKonomics classes

In yet another reactionary move against an imagined enemy, Arizona has passed a new bill, this time to ban “schools from teaching classes that are designed for students of a particular ethnic group, promote resentment or advocate ethnic solidarity over treating pupils as individuals.”

So, that should remove the following classes from Arizona schools:

1) Any language class. English? Spanish? French? They all sound like an insidious attempt to change the way we think, starting with the voice in our heads. Plus, we all know that the native speakers typically take these courses because they’re an easy A … well, except English.

2) American History. Oh, so we’re only going to learn about Americans, eh? Let’s look at the section on World War II–just as we thought! Anti-Nazi biases! And just where are the sections about famous Asian-American philosophers?

3) Lunch. The spice levels of cafeteria food are clearly set for a Caucasian digestive tract.

4) Physical Education. We’re OK with keeping PE if they don’t teach basketball. Or baseball. Or soccer. Basically, they just need to teach non-team sports that the white kids can excel at while encouraging their individuality.

Arizona: where passing unenforceable laws is OK, so long as they can convince Mexicans to move along.

Schadenfreude: International blend

Good morning! And what a morning it is: the dawning of yet another wonderful day!

Just think of the day you have ahead of you: showering, sitting in traffic, going to work, eating a lousy lunch with people you hate, sitting in more traffic, cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen — all while trying not to beat your children! Goodness, but these are blessed times, aren’t they?

No, they aren’t. When your only relaxation is going to a gym to work out, you really hate the people that make it look so easy. People like, oh, Martha Stewart …

Well, guess who’s persona non gratis in the United Kingdom? Yep, Martha’s life was easy when she was given insider trading tips, but now she’s not allowed to visit investors and business partners in Merry Olde England.

And that, we think, is a good thing.

Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.

Bringing back the lush’s lunch

The people of China are fighting back! They are not going to take government oppression anymore. They have had it with being told what do to and how to do it, and they are tired of Big Brother watching everything they do on their lunch breaks.

In an act of defiance not seen in China since Tienanmen Square, a legal challenge, backed by the country’s liquor producers, is looking to overturn a ban on imbibing on lunch breaks in the Henan province. This blog supports the three (or five)-martini lunch, and would like nothing better than to see this ban free the Chinese people.

Where ever there is a ban on alcoholic beverages, consider SeriouslyGuys your own personal Tom Joad.