B.M.C. Durfee High School in Fall River, Mass., has employed a new tactic for getting chronically tardy and truant students into class:
The best part, though? New York City schools use a wake-up call recorded by Magic Johnson, making robo-phone sex the safest sex you could ever have with the former NBA all-star.
It happens every time the annointed King of Late Night announces his retirement: the courtiers battle for the not-yet-vacant throne. This post isn’t about that: we already know that Conan will be the new Leno king … but that is another story.
No, this is about the scurry to fill the other late night slots once the hosts shift around. For every Craig Ferguson, there is an ill-fated Magic Johnson or Chevy Chase. They’re the virgin sacrifice to the Safe Comedy Gods, getting some TV time for a week or less, then slaughtered to ensure a solid ten years of unchallenging celebrity jokes.
The first sacrifice has been announced: Jimmy Fallon will most likely take over Conan’s Late Show. May the Gods be sated with his blood.