The birds and the teens

As providers of news and entertainment, The Guys listen good and hard when it comes to your tastes. In that vein, we bring you TEENAGE SEX!

Talk dirty to them
A New York City judge ruled that it was wrong for the Department of Education to suspend a sex education teacher for using vulgar terms in class. In the reading of his decision, Judge Jack Weinstein said, “At least she didn’t f#@k them.”

That’s a wrap
Washington, D.C. officials are now giving out bigger condoms to high school and college students after receiving complaints that the previous ones were too small and brittle. The male students are happier, adding that now they just need to find people to have sex with their “giant monster dongs.”

Grab your machete and get ready for family bonding

Spring is here, and for Oklahomans, that means one thing: the rattlesnake roundup. Yes, every year, cowboys go out into the herd of rattlesnakes they have been taking care of all winter, and get them ready for the summer’s drive to market in Kansas.

Actually, it’s a tradition of a town called Magnum, and if you’re in the area, dear warrior, we strongly suggest you go. Rustlers from all over the area bring in rattlers to be beheaded and skinned before a cheering crowd. And in case you were wondering, yes it is something you can take the whole family to. That makes sense, because the family that kills animals together stays together.