Out of all the holiday-related mascots here in America, the Easter Bunny has to have it the worst. There’s just not a lot of dignity in being a large, pastel-wearing rabbit that brings kids Easter baskets. As far as kids care, Easter is far overshadowed by Christmas. Understandably, the Easter Bunny has a chip on his shoulder. That’s why it’s no surprise that he finally snapped.
At a mall in New Jersey, security had to break up a fight between the Easter Bunny and some customers. Things got heated when a 1-year-old girl slipped out of the chair after having her picture taken with the Easter Bunny. And we can assume that after a heated argument with adults, the hare got into a fight, which was documented in a video on Twitter.
There are still many unanswered questions. Was this the real Easter Bunny, or one of his helpers? Is this a thing now? Do we all have to go see the mall Easter Bunny from here on out? Should we as a society allow this thing with a history of violence into our homes while we sleep?
The Guys don’t think it’s too much of a grasp to call an aquarium in a shopping mall ludicrous, or at the very least, gratuitous. Sure, we all like to see the prisoners of war in the conflict that we humans are involved in, but it just seems a bit … extravagant to have a glass cage filled with sea animals while you shop for the latest fashions.
But Shanghai is a different country containing their own excesses. Unfortunately, excesses sometimes have a limit. An aquarium located in a Shanghai mall burst, the six inch thick glass containing turtles, fish and lemon sharks breaking and sending its contents out onto the floor, but first into innocent bystanders (link contains an auto-playing video). Some citizens were injured, but no one died.
It’s often been said that we should dance as if no one’s looking. This is a stupid piece of advice, as in this day and age, everyone is watching you, especially if you’re connected to the internet in some form of fashion. To run with that point, it’s been said to never be fully tuned out of your environment. This is a genius piece of advice, as it’s important to be aware of your surroundings, as once again, in this day and age, everyone is watching, whether or not you’re connected to the internet in some form of fashion.
The Guys don’t pretend to understand God’s thinking, but it’s possible to extrapolate from this story that he doesn’t much care for the evangelical Solid Rock Church in Monroe, OH and what was their big honking statue of Jesus.
What we mean is that there are parables, and then there are direct f&%king messages in lightning and red font.
Now, if only he could smote Thomas Kinkade stores without burning down the entire mall ….
We’ve waxed poetic about Star Wars many timesbeforein the past-truthfully, the majority opinion here at SG is that Star Wars nerds are absolutely hilarious to watch in real life. And we don’t care how hard you send your emails or how sternly you word them from the basement in which you reside.
These days, “I’m gonna kill someone,” are usually the magic words for a big time police response. When the dissatisfied customer left to get something from his vehicle, police answered a 911 call and did something called “active shooter response.” After cuffing the guy, they only found a stun gun on him. Coincidentally enough, possession of a stun gun is illegal in Michigan. Book ’em, Dan-o.
For raising a ruckus, he now faces a felony for the stun gun and a disorderly conduct misdemeanor. Nice one, dude.
You gotta feel for Sean Hannity. For years, he was everyone’s favorite Fox News host to hate since O’Reilly would–occasionally–prove his independent politics. But, then Glenn Beck moved over from CNN.
Suddenly, waving a flag to match the one on your lapel while asking why liberals are traitors wasn’t crazy enough anymore. Where’s your tears, Sean? Are you too wussy to quake and cry for your homeland? We bet Colmes could blow a snot bubble for the greatest nation on Earth!