The skeleton of a mammoth in Serbia has recently been unearthed, and by the skeletal complex, it was one big mother######. Estimates have the mammoth at being 10 tons while it was alive, and because we haven’t heard anything from Rosie O’Donnell for a while, this gives us hope.
Scientists, what do you think you’re doing? Don’t you realize what you’ve done?
Let’s backpeddle a second for all the readers catching us mid-scolding:
Scientists in Japan have successfully cloned mice after freezing the donor to death. To repeat: they’ve brought mice back from the dead. Kind of. Pretty much.
Without death, there’s no way to stop animals from eating the Earth that God fitfully gave to us, humans. In fact, now there’s plans to bring back species we wiped out, like wooly mammoths.
Look, science, you wanna see a hairy elephant? Talk to Lucasfilm. They’ll show you a furry pachyderm with adorable bandage-swathed subhumans riding them. How about that?
Just — for the love of all that is holy — stop bringing non-people back from the dead. It’s not cool.
(Heh, “not cool.” Frozen mice. Still not worth it, science.)