Drunk babies are the only tolerable babies

Kids. It’s always “wah-wah-wah” and “poopy diaper” this. If that’s not enough, they throw spaghetti all around restaurants for no reason outside of they’re jerks. Could you all be more narcissistic?

Don’t worry, there’s hope. In fact, I think you all should be more like this kid. He was given margarita mix instead of apple juice, and what happened? Not a single bad thing.

“We took it from him and he kind of laid his head on the table,” said Taylor Dill-Reese. “He dozed off a little bit and woke up and got real happy.”

See, now there’s a kid who knows how to hold his booze. He was given it, and does he raise a ruckus? On the contrary, he’s quite benevolent to all the other dining patrons. And then he’s a joy! If you look up in some stuffy old dead guy’s dictionary for the definition of win-win, you’ll see a picture of this kid’s mug.