Tag: marijuana

No more high scores for that reefer smoker

Here are SeriouslyGuys, we like to inform the general populace on how not to live your life, usually using examples found in society. Today will be no different, as an argument between a pothead and his live-in gamer buddy will educate us on how not to resolve our differences as these two do.

According to Seattle police, after one too many disagreeable bong-hitting sessions, the roommate who gets high only on life (and his gamerscore–and quite possibly crack, too) shattered said bong on the sidewalk. Bong-smasher was met the next day with a wet Xbox that “smelled like urine” and controllers that were partially glued to … something. No arrests have been made, though cries throughout the Internet have been made, all uttering distasteful comparisons to “Marijuana Jones and his mad HAX”.

We’re not laughing, ‘Onion’

Look, before we get into it, let’s just say we like The Onion. We think it’s adorable that they make up news to joke about. Very creative, boys.

That said: did you think we wouldn’t notice? It was a nice try, putting it in your print edition. You know The Guys are way too awesome to sit in coffee shops and read ratty little newsletters.

(Not that we’re implying your print edition is ratty. We’re sure it’s much more distinguished than that local fanzine about marijuana-oriented jam bands from Kinko’s.)

And we quote from our site two weeks ago:

“So I caught a few previews for Austin Powers 4: The Love Guru and noticed Jessica Alba is in it.”

That’s the very first sentence in “Take it from Snee: Jessica Alba kinda sucks.”

US teens learn to lie during surveys

According to a survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, US teens are more likely to lie about having sex, doing drugs and smoking cigarettes than they were in the 1990s.

“About 48 percent of high school students were no longer virgins in 2007, down from 54 percent in 1991.

“Meanwhile, just 15 percent said they’d had four or more sexual partners, down from 19 percent in 1991.

“And 62 percent of sexually active students said they’d used a condom the last time they had sex, up from 46 percent in 1991.

“Some 35 percent of teens had at least one drink of alcohol in the month before they were surveyed in 2007, down from 42 percent in 1991.

“Marijuana used has fallen to 20 percent of students from a peak of 27 percent in 1999 while methamphetamine use is down to four percent of teens surveyed in 2007 from 10 percent in 2001.

“Nearly half as many students admitted to carrying some kind of weapon: 17 percent in 2007 compared with 33 percent in 1991.”

So, at least teens are smarter than their counterparts in the 1990s.

How To: Beat addiction

So, if you followed last week’s How To, you got your band back together. How’s it going? Oh, you say your big reunion tour’s over already? That’s OK, because every band goes through a couple of false starts before the big reunion (see: every Van Halen attempt to reunite with Diamond Dave).

But before that happens, it’s time to evaluate what went wrong. Just like any breakup, we’ll bet dollars to donuts that it failed for the same reason that led to your first breakup: addiction. Also, you should probably change your socks.

The Guys love you very much, but we hate to see you hurting yourself. That’s why we’ve written this intervention: how to beat addiction. Continue reading How To: Beat addiction

Weed–it’s the new greenback

As funny as it is, this is real money. Marijuana is not this. It’s quite clearly the age old question (at least, apparently in New Zealand), passed down from one generation of yokel to another-can I pay with cannabis? No, you cannot pay with cannabis. Just because it’s green does not mean that it can be substituted for green legal tender.

Surprise, surprise, that apparently never stopped a guy at a service station in New Zealand from having that radical train of thought. Seemingly out of money, the lad decided to offer marijuana as payment for his gas fill-up … along with two bags of M&M’s and a bag of potato chips. Way to break the stereotype there, guy. Alas, he’ll never know if his hippy utopian world of trading sticky-icky for products and services will come to be, as he apparently never noticed the police car outside of the station, nor the driver of the police car right behind him in the paying line. Yet again, way to break the stereotype there, guy.

Have skull, will smoke up

There are people that are really excited about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and then there are people that are really excited about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Unfortunately, because this is America, there are also people that want to turn a skull into a bong. Morons. I mean, everyone knows that the femur and tibula make much better devices for said bong creation. Not only that, but this is a fairly blatant sign of zombies attempting to pass themselves off as humans. Smoking out of a skull? More like eating human brains. We’re onto you undead monsters!

Staying active in the twilight years

Getting in a car accident can be a bummer (just ask my roommate). Getting into a car accident on your 72nd birthday can be even worse. That’s what happened to Rodell Alton Cole of Maryland recently, but that wasn’t the worst of his day.

Cole got into a minor fender bender with another motorist, so the police had to get involved. They found the senior citizen was driving on a suspended license and asked him to empty out his car. During this process, Cole removed a rather heavy bag police found to allegedly contain 156.2 pounds of marijuana, a street value of $1.4 million.

Police said they think Cole was on a drug run from New York City, but failed to comment on whether or not he had driven the whole way down going 45 mph on the highway with his blinker on.