Tag: Mark Wahlberg

Wahlberg 11: Never Forget

9/11 is a moment in the history of the United States of America that will never be forgotten. It left a moment in generations that can only be equaled by the assassination of JFK and the Challenger explosion. That said, the US and our nation would have suffered much less had actor Mark Wahlberg been on one of the flights that day, rather than having switched flights as he did.

That’s not my crazy and off the wall prediction, that’s Mark Wahlberg’s.

“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did,” Wahlberg says, presumably while making that face where he looks both confused and slightly angry—the sort of expression that says, “Hey, just who the hell do you think you’re dealing with?” that would have totally thrown the hijackers off. Wahlberg added, “There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’”

May he fingerbang our daughters’ hearts forever

It’s Friday, which means only one thing: news from Tinseltown! For those of you who didn’t lose your virginity in a depression (and recessions don’t count), we mean Hollywood: land of dreams and stained casting couches, home of the neediest waiters and baristas in the world!

Did your parents ever explain to you where Hollywood leading men come from? They’re made, just like mafia dons! For instance: Mark Wahlberg and Leonardo DiCaprio made Taylor Lautner yesterday, just as Tom Selleck and John Stamos once did to them back in the ’90s. And they received their nods from Burt Reynolds and Henry Winkler and so on and so forth, et cetera, et cetera.

Let’s hear it for Taylor Lautner! May his abs never congeal into a gunt, his face never wrinkle or develop jowls and his career never end as an Old Spice spokesperson!

You may now return to your dumpster-diving, and thanks for reading this on stolen Starbucks wifi.

MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Fighter’

When previews and trailers for The Fighter came out across the nation around the beginning of November, I didn’t really think much of the movie. Mark Wahlberg? Yeah, he wasn’t too bad in The Departed, but for every one of those movies, there’s The Happening. I can imagine some audiences shying away from the movie, reluctant to see a film about boxing.

We really need to stop going with our gut reactions. As a boxing movie, The Fighter is one of the best. It’s a spectacular entertainment that’s every bit as rousing as Rocky. But it’s much more than a meager “boxing movie,” as some might label it. The Fighter is also a great character study about family, addiction and ego. It’s an incredibly uplifting movie and, at times, a very funny one. There’s not an instance in The Fighter where you can sense that the filmmakers have anything less than absolute respect for the art of boxing and the people who inspired this project. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Fighter’