Lava more efficient for building than water

A 168-mile-long channel near Mars’ Ascraeus Mons volcano wasn’t created by water as scientists have previously thought. New high-resolution images suggest that this trench was created by molten lava. DUM DUM DUMMMMMM!!!

What does this mean for the search for water on Mars? We’re hoping it means all the martians have been burned to death by now.

Thanks to improved imaging techniques, Mars researchers noticed volcanic vents near the Ascraeus Mons ridge. According to Jacob Bleacher of NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center:

We started seeing that, instead of this [liquid] cutting into an existing surface, it was building a surface-it built a ridge up to 40 meters […] You see it all the time in volcanic settings. So that’s kind of our smoking gun.

Get it ? Smoking gun? Lava?

Yes, well … ahem. This doesn’t mean that water-formed valleys don’t exist on Mars, but it does mean that researchers will have to account for volcanism more when analyzing images of Martian topography.

To reiterate: we hope the martians have all been burned to death. Because they are crafty and green.