Tag: memory loss

Here today, gone today

Is there a memory you’d rather not remember? A bad prom? Left at the altar? Did you accidentally fall into a hot dog cart, only to then be chased by a pack of feral dogs in heat?

Prepare to remember them one last time.

Science, that wonderful friend of the lonely, is cooking up a process that will reportedly remove painful memories, permanently. That’s right, el finito. As per the norm, scientists discovered that after removing a protein from the brains of mice, the little squeakers had trouble remembering things like fear.

This could potentially be bad for us. Better start making the test mice dumb, too, scientists.

It’s the best of everything: now we can be like Jim Carrey without having approximately 175 teeth in our mouths.

Don’t let Alzheimer’s dampen the holidays!

As the holidays that don’t involve bobbing for little bottles of liquor approach, those of you with elderly relatives may encounter some memory loss (that, once again, doesn’t involve little bottles of liquor).

While Alzheimer’s means that your mom or dad might not recognize you, that doesn’t mean they want to be bored with the same old reintroductions to their bastard grandchildren. Give them the life they’ve always wanted — you know, before you were born.

1) Total Recall: “What do you mean you want to go to Mars,Grandpa? Mars is terrible. How about a nice tour of the rings of Saturn?” Then have your mom try to kill him with a cooking knife. The fun starts when Grandpa’s WWII training kicks in.

2) The Bobby Darin Story: Convince your grandmother that she is your mother and that your mother is actually your sister. Bonus points if you don’t tell your mom whats going on.

3) Clue: It’s murder! And your Aunt doesn’t remember killing the butler in the library with the rope … until you arrange the clues so they point to her.

4) The Alzheimer’s Game: Convince a suggestible older relative that they’ve entered the early stages of dementia by having the entire family reminisce about things that never happened. Will they catch on by Christmas? That’s the Alzheimer’s Game!