Tag: mentally ill

When there’s no more room in China, the dead will rise

Zombie movies have happened just about everywhere. The United States, Germany, Canada, Sweden, England, Wales, Australia, India, Japan, and if I understand the trailer, perhaps some place in Africa while also facing the T-800?

But one place they haven’t happened in is China. That is, until recently.

A man in Foshan City cornered a woman on the street and proceeded to begin gnawing on her face. Bystanders came by and attacked the undead man with a shovel to no avail. When the police arrived, the zombie began chewing on one of their arms. Ghastly!

The media is writing off the incident as the actions of a mentally ill individual, but c’mon. You and I know the real truth here. World War Z may soon become a tome that predicts the future.

A standoff that began with a run for the border

According to a survey published in the BMC Psychiatry journal, mentally ill patients are more likely to be obese or overweight than patients with physiological disorders.

This may help explain why a San Antonio, Tex., man attacked a Taco Bell with an air gun and a semiautomatic assault rifle and pistol over the price increase on Beefy Crunch Burritos. He discovered the beefy crunchy hike from 99 cents to $1.49 after ordering seven of them.

The good news is that, after a three-hour standoff with the SWAT team, we can all have a hearty laugh about this. Unless of course, you, dear reader, planned to buy 30 burritos for $30 at lunch today.