Shagging a sheep does not make someone a sex offender

But, man oh man, is it still ever just wrong. And outside of West Virginia no less? Unheard of.

A court ruled this week that a man who sodomized a sheep will not have to register as a sex offender because the sheep cannot be considered a victim of sexual assault under Michigan law. We hope that after the injured livestock gets back on her feet she organizes a protest—or at least buys the dude a box of inflatable sheep sex dolls, or maybe just becomes an anti-bestiality activist.

The guys can only hope that the man was using some truly brutal interrogation techniques on such an obvious war-time opponent. After all, love cannot bloom on the battlefield.