Tag: Miami Dolphins

Eat My Sports: Your 2009 Washington Redskins

Note: I know this looks like yours truly, Bryan McBournie, wrote this, but in fact it was written by Bryan Schools, who is currently chained up in Ben Roethlisberger’s love dungeon. Luckily Big Ben allowed Schools a cell phone to keep himself amused. Rather than calling for help, he wrote this via text message.

Ladies and gentlemen of the D.C. area, you had reason to doubt your Landover football team had reason for concern to begin the season, now you should be in full-blown panic mode! The Lions were bound to beat somebody at some time in their future, and that time came sooner rather later unfortunately for Jim Zorn and Jason Campbell.

The loss to Detroit is an early icing on the cake for a snowball that began in a Week 1 loss to the Giants, but gained an enormous amount of steam after an embarrasing win against the Rams. Notice, the Redskins are probably the only team in the league who can have the word “embarrasing” attached to a win. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Your 2009 Washington Redskins

Eat My Sports: NFL predictions edition

Bust out your Michael Vick jersey, a case of Miller Lite and prepare to gain 20 pounds, IT’S FOOTBALL SEASON! How will it all pan out? So glad you asked. My sports knowledge and ability to guestimate gives you predictions for every division, team and eventual playoff outcomes. Let’s ride.

NFC East

The NFC East was supposed to be the new “it” divisions last year, shortly before it lived up to expectations in 2008 the way Angelina Jolie tanked in Changeling. Now in 2009 the East is down to one good team, two teams that got rid of egomaniacal receivers, and the Redskins. Don’t be surprised when this team yields only one playoff bid this year.

The Call: Philadelphia Eagles 12-4

The Rest: New York Giants 9-7, Dallas Cowboys 8-8, Washington Redskins 5-11

NFC South

Another pretender division that choked like a British nanny as the weather got colder. Yes, I predicted the Saints to go to the Super Bowl last year, but injuries and NO DEFENSE prevented that. This year you have an aging Carolina squad, New Orleans’ offense, a terrible Tampa team and an Atlanta franchise that will probably get a second year hangover from Matt Ryan, I mean he is still only a year out of college, hangovers happen my friend. The bottom line is you could make an argument for any of these teams, simply because the division is so bad. So pick the least heinous person to make out with at this party, because this one isn’t pretty.

The call: Atlanta Falcons 10-6,

The rest: New Orleans Saints 8-8, Carolina Panthers 7-9, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 6-10 Continue reading Eat My Sports: NFL predictions edition

Eat My Sports: Sex and the NFL

I really want to write about the Red Sox this week. That old familiar feeling has come creeping around again, and my boys did it in overly dramatic fashion by finishing off the 100-win Angels with a head-first dive into home plate by Jason Bay. However, I don’t want to tempt fate by calling any of the series this week, so we’ll save it for an Eat My Sports: World Series Edition when the time comes, regardless of if it ends up with a worst case scenario for Fox execs by having a Tampa Bay vs. Philadelphia Phillies Fall Classic. For the time being though, Jed Lowrie, you rock, and Bay, just keep on rolling baby. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Sex and the NFL

Eat My Sports: Some serious predictions

The end of the baseball regular season is here, and all most of us can think is, “Finally!” I love baseball season, but this year’s gauntlet dragged me from late March to late September, so this year felt particularly long. It felt much longer because the Red Sox never really hit a stretch where they played exceptionally well for an extended period of time, they were just consistent. Next thing I know, I look at the standings and we were a 95-win Wild Card team. To put that in perspective, 95 wins equals winning your division, all your playoff games and going undefeated the following Spring Training for the NL West. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Some serious predictions

Eat My Sports: Serious allegiance

In an effort to try and keep the sporting world active in my life, I actually paid attention to this weekend’s festivities in New Orleans for the NBA’s All-Star Game. I saw Dwight Howard visibly put basketball back on the map with one dunk. I watched as Lebron James continued his ascent into being not only the next, but better than Michael Jordan. I watched all of this and suddenly got very, very depressed. Where were my New York Knicks?

Aside from Nate Robinson winning the Slam Dunk Competition a few years back, I am in a free fall as a fan. I have nothing to look forward to. The NBA season starts, I have no hope, we get Larry Brown, and I have no hope because Isaiah Thomas has ruined my beloved franchise beyond a decade-long repair. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Serious allegiance