Super Mario forced me to touch the kiddies

Blaming videogames for your sins is all the rage, and it’s such a hip movement that even dirty pedophiles are doing it! 38-year-old Ontario man Michael Cherry sure loves him some kiddy porn, but in pleading guilty to possessing the grisly stuff, he offered a most compelling explanation.

Cherry has implicated video games and comic books as contributors to his diseased state of mind, claiming that he lived in a “closed box” and that his “friendless fantasy” was fueled by interactive entertainment. The truck driver also did what many pedophiles do and tried to play the “bad childhood” card, bemoaning a life in foster care and bringing up his apparent clinical depression.

“I’d work, come home . . . lock myself in my apartment…”

Of course, there’s no excuse for downloading child pornography, no matter your background or social standing. It’s just sad that excuses are being made, and it’s thanks to those out there who have made games and comics, among other totally unrelated forms of media, easy scapegoats for criminals who wish to shed themselves of any sense of accountability. Of course, it makes one wonder who’s going to take the accountability of popping Cherry’s cherry in jail.

At least, if you weren’t wondering then, you are now. I am an evil person.