Science finally finds a negative health impact from drinking

Pretty much every other day, heavy-drinking scientists come out with a new study declaring the health benefits of boozing it up on the reg. But did you know that there is actually a negative health effect?

According to a new study, drinking alcohol isn’t always good for you. In fact, it can mess up the balance of good bacteria and bad bacteria in your mouth. Researchers found that drinking alcohol tends to kill the good bacteria in your mouth, which could lead to health problems later in life.

So why not have another round? You’re probably been drinking for so many years that you’re doomed anyhow.

Your body is a disgusting, yet healthy wonderland

We know that human beings contain more germs on a single finger than an entire dog’s mouth. At least, according to Schools, who open mouth kisses dogs all the time. (All the time.) But, until recently, we didn’t have a list of every pathogen humans carry … until now.

It turns out that the entire human body is a popular bacterial nightclub with over 100 trillion “good” strains dancing the night away (and getting freaky in a few bathroom using areas). And there are hundreds of trillions more lined up around every door knob, just waiting to get in. (Some of them, like HIV, pretend to be someone else to suckerpunch our bouncer cells.)

So, food for thought next time you’re around a hugger.