That’s how it went, right? I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s how it went, right? I mean, it was over 5 years ago, and my memory isn’t exactly fantastic, but those were Kanye West’s words, right?
We don’t really know the average age of our readers (not until we do our SeriouslyInquisitive Survey/Pop Up Ad, am I right?), but it’s safe to assume that the internet is getting younger. Or at least, the users on the internet are getting younger. That’s to be expected, what with more people using it every day. Unfortunately, that means a lot of the users may not know about Russia.
You see young bucks, Russia used to be a fearsome foe back in the day (also known as the far flung past of the 1980s), stopping arguments among their people with an iron fist left and right. But as of the past 20 years, things haven’t quite been like that. In order to mesh with the rest of the world, Russia is now a shadow of that creature.
Or is it?
An environmental group was planning to protest Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, but that plan was ended when they lost their research data. Authorities used the pretext of searching for pirated Microsoft software in order to take the computers. This operation has been going on more and more recently, and Microsoft has no qualms with it; in fact, they’re even assisting in it. The evil empire may be back, and it’s all thanks to another former evil empire.
When banned, a 26-year-old Xbox Live gamer called Xbox support to explain that his town of Fort Gay, West Virginia, was a real place and not a homosexual slur, he was threatened with account cancellation. Nice customer relations.
Josh Moore found himself temporarily suspended from Xbox Live last week due to an offensive word in his profile. Moore lives in Fort Gay in West Virginia. The word “gay” in the place name set off red flags with Xbox Live, and Moore found himself suspended, the town name removed from his bio. When he contacted customer service about this, he was told that he could not be helped.
Now, here’s where the hilarity of a small town comes into play. Fort Gay mayor David Thompson tried to intervene on his behalf, only to be told that the town’s name didn’t matter, and the word “gay” was offensive in any context. This is important to know since Microsoft changed the Live policy earlier this year and made it okay to express your sexuality in your gamertag or profile. Whoops. It finally took being brought to the attention of Stephen Toulous, director of policy and enforcement for Xbox Live, for this matter to be resolved.
However, if you live in Bryanisadouchebagville or come from Rickisacharterneonaziburg, don’t be surprised if your info comes under scrutiny.
This time it isn’t an employee falling off a roof or out of a window. This time, it’s pesticide.
Foxconn, the world’s largest manufacturer of electronics, is responsible for assembling the Xbox 360, the PS3, the Wii, the iPhone and more. Another thing it’s famous for: the death of its employees by suicide, along with “alleged” pressuring by industry giants regarding their products.
After 250 workers at the company’s Chennai, India plant were hospitalized, Foxconn had no choice but to shut the facility down. Workers experienced what has been described as “sensations of giddiness and nausea”. According to Foxconn, this “may have been caused by the routine spraying of pesticide at the production facility.” Whoops.
Out of the 250 hospitalized workers, 28 are still in the hospital. The plant is responsible for mobile phone parts.
For Bryan McBournie, it might be more prudent to exclaim, “Where Is Your Clean Air Now?”
It’s said that crime does not pay, but this may now be otherwise. A man was able to nab not one, but two Xbox 360s from a Beavercreek, Ohio Best Buy while carrying a diaper bag and a real live baby.
The man, described as 6ft, 250 pounds and balding, grabbed two consoles and left with them under his arm while carrying the child. He then got into his Kia Spectra and sped off, allegedly without even securing the baby in its seat. Although on the surface this looks like bad parenting, we can’t rule out the fact that the baby was in on the scam, mind you possibly the brains of the entire operation.
Not having children and pawning off any duties involving my younger brother when he was growing up onto my parents, that’s gotta be one big diaper bag.
In an effort to help people recognize Bing.com as a product from the Microsoft we’ve all grown to know and love, the Web search site was brought down by for a half hour because of a testing error.
The branding move backfired, however, when both Bing users received a 404 error and went to Google to find the new URL.
We’re big Microsoft fan boys here at SG, though, so we’d like remind you that, at least when Bing goes down, it doesn’t crash your entire system like other MS products. So, there’s your lemonade, Mr. Gates.
Sometimes at the end of the week I find it hard to concentrate. But this Friday is harder than most. You see, I was at one of those Windows 7 launch parties last night, and let me tell you, it was wild. I am so hung over I am considering never drinking and downloading an operating system ever again. Let’s just say my stomach has uploaded several times. If you were busy flying past your airport this week, odds are you missed it.
The only baseball suspension that doesn’t involve steroids
Steve Phillips works at ESPN’s “Baseball Tonight,” but baseball wasn’t the only night activity he had, and now it’s lead to his suspension. Phillips, 46, had an affair with Brooke Hundley, a 22-year old coworker. It wasn’t even his first affair, but what happened this time was he had the mistake of dating a crazy person who left angry notes on his front door and put an ad on Craigslist offering $50 to harass his wife. Getting called out at home is never fun.
Earhart is still missing
The movie Amelia opens today, amid less than stellar reviews. Critics say the lines are terrible, there is little character development, and the dude who plays Amelia Earhart doesn’t even look like her. Personally, I’d like to see Charles Lindbergh’s life get made into a movie. Not only is there a kidnapping, but there are Nazis, too!
A Sicilian builder serving a term on house arrest for dumping hazardous waste asked to be transferred back to prison to finish the rest of his sentence in prison. The reason: he wanted to get away from arguments with his wife. I–I don’t know what to say. There’s no punchline for this one. It really happened.
Yes, we already had a Headline of the Day, and it was very, very worthy. Let’s just consider the possibility of the Zune ever competing with the Apple iPod line Co-Headline of the Day-worthy.
Seriously, Microsoft: how’s about you focus your energy on a successful operating system?
Yar! It be hard out there for a pirate!
Joining former Grokster exec Wayne Rosso, Pirate Bay’s Peter Sunde is abandoning the BitTorrent site he co-founded.
In a blog post (truly a most demonic contraption attached to a witch’s teet), Sunde stated:
“I have decided to not be the spokes person for The Pirate Bay anymore. The reasons are many but most importantly it takes too much of my time. I want to build something new and I want to focus my energy in a different direction. I have projects waiting to be finished, a book is waiting to be finalized and many more books are waiting to be read.”
Oh sure, ye be ready to have plenty o’ fun, but when the sharks be a-comin’ for ya, you decide to turn tail and escape on the only deck-boat available? You not be a pirate, but a landlubber through and through! In fact, what you should do is take a lesson from Matthew Crippen.
Crippen, a student at California State University, be facing 10 years in prison for modding multiple consoles, not to hide treasure and booty, but to play modded games. At only 27 and a student, the 10 years in prison might be the social equivalent of the hangman’s noose for that lad. Yar! Perhaps he should’ve used a bit less book smarts and bit more sea smarts and modded himself a boat to sail away to Secret Pirate Island!
Sigh. Clearly, there be far too many constabularies after simple privateers such as us.