Tag: Miracles

The audacity of Pope

Is it just us, or does the Pope cover some dated issues?

What did he talk about in the Middle East today? The Holocaust and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Other times? Birth control, abortion and masturbation. Oh, and don’t get us started on the old man’s stories about Jesus. (How many times can you hear about the same three miracles, anyway?)

Weren’t these topics already settled in 1970s and 1980s ABC After-School Specials, and more grippingly than an old German guy speaking Latin?

We want some new insights, Your Holiness. What do you think about Twitter? Or universal health care? How bad did you think Wolverine was? Get some new material, old man.

That isn’t syrup, it’s the stigmata!

Miracles happen all around us, people are healed from seemingly incurable diseases, people survive plane crashes … John Locke could walk again after surviving Oceanic Flight 815. Then, some people think they see the Virgin Mary on a griddle at a California diner, then honor it by making a shrine. In the storage closet.

Yes, honor your sacred mother by moving aside the broom and dustpan and using the soda boxes as a base. In other news I think my boysenberry syrup was a sign this morning.