Schadenfreude: The taste you know

In an uncertain world, we rely on the few certain things in our lives or–more importantly–the lives of others to make everything make sense. It’s what wakes us up in the morning, ready to face whatever uncertainties the world will throw at us.

There, that should be enough Schadenfreude to get you to five o’clock. It’s the taste you know you love, especially after pouring it in Jesse James’ rehabed lap.

Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.

Standing up has been unexplained thus far?

Science marches forward!

We recently told you that most of your favorite dinosaurs were not actually special at all, but simply more akin to frosted Poptarts versus unfrosted Poptarts.

Well, science has decided that it needs to blow your mind again. A new dinosaur species has been found. NEW! And even more important, it may be of large scientific consequence. Why so? Because it may be … the missing link!

Between quadrupedal dinosaurs and bipedal dinosaurs. Someone sound the anticlimactic alarm.

Take it from Snee: Wake me up for the real missing link

Just when evolution is about to become an endangered species in public schools, the anti-religious forces manage to dig up a “missing link.” Again.

I’d get excited and use Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians to clean up afterwards, but — no matter how many humans with sloping foreheads or strange teeth or webbed feet they show me — none of these finds have the basic characteristics of a true missing link.

(Of course, when referring to the “missing link” and “evolution” in this article, I’m doing so with my tongue where God created it: firmly planted in my cheek.)

So, until any of the following are found, I’ll just go back to eating Jesus dipped in Welch’s Jesus Lite. (He may be risen, but He needs some flavor.) Continue reading Take it from Snee: Wake me up for the real missing link