X-Men Origins: Magneto

MIT, which stands for Mad scientists In Training, has released new research on the recently identified part of the brain that may control morality.

As they are wont, the scientists attempted and believe they were able to magnetically disengage this region in test subjects. In various experiments, the zapped subjects would appraise morally ambiguous scenarios based on the results rather than moral concerns.

For instance: when asked if it was acceptable for a man to let his girlfriend cross the Temple of Doom bridge, zapped subjects answered that it depended on whether she crossed safely or not.

When we asked MIT students if it was safe to bombard portions of the human brain with magnetic waves, they shrugged. “Well, we did get interesting results.”

Robofish are here, and they are watching you

We often think that science will show us new ways to defeat our enemies, but we forget that in science, as with any industry, there are those who are hellbent on destroying the righteous cause. Today, we find some such scientists at MIT.

There, they are creating a school of robotic fish for no other purpose than to kill humans–other than to inspect oil and natural gas pipelines that are deep underwater. The robofish will go places that submarines can’t, and look totally normal to other fish.

Wait a minute, maybe this is a way at spying on fish. Maybe MIT is planning to make these into fish terminators!

(Courtesy of Toni A.)