Rated ‘T’ for ‘Too Old’

If you’re bored with the World of Warcraft, then get ready for a new adventure on Planet Michael.

The planned online world will be based in a virtual Neverland that Tim Burton only brushed the dust off of with his Alice in Wonderland abortion and completely non-violent, using dance-based and musical problem solving.

The most remarkable part of the game is the character generation screen, where players can choose between 14 different noses and skin tints ranging from Motown Mocha to Anime Heroine.

Getting a degree in douchebaggery

Media professor David Myers, from Loyola University, has been studying how people interact in online games. Why is this of interest?

His study is based on finding out what happens when he starts trolling people. Myers has been studying human interaction in City of Heroes since it first launched all the way back in 2004, and with his character “Twixt” decided as part of his studies to push people’s buttons. When Myers first played City of Heroes and City of Villains, he noticed that the heroes and villains were not strictly playing by the rules, instead peacefully co-existing with each other and often taking out computer-controlled opponents instead of opposing factions. He decided to change all that with his character who would whisk player-controlled villains in front of a cartoon robot firing line for instant kills. He was not liked.

This is where things got nasty; while initially he was gently warned against rampant player-killing, warnings soon blossomed into threats, with Myers sent messages like “I hope your mother gets cancer.” Someone is a charmer. The abuse eventually became so intense – he was accused of being a pedophile and of being a racist – that people were directly threatening Myers and his family, leading him to report them to publishers NCSoft.

So, why did Myers, who is an avid videogamer outside of his work, strive to become the world’s most hated City of Heroes player? To prove that “modern-day social groups making use of modern-day technology can revert to “medieval and crude” methods in trying to manipulate and control others.” His findings? That it wasn’t the game rules that mattered in CoH, it was the hardcore community who sought to preserve their niche little “culture”.

“If you aren’t a member of the tribe, you get whacked with a stick,” he said. “I look at social groups with dismay.”

WoW is greener than you

Stanford Professor Byron Reeves thinks World of Warcraft can be harnessed as an energy-saving tool by attaching Smart Meter readings to gameplay goals. Sadly, he wants energy-saving, not energy building.

Smart Meters monitor the electricity in a household and feed that information to power companies. By uploading it to WoW instead, Reeves thinks the game could become a tool to encourage environmental awareness.

Reeves went on radio show Living on Earth for their Green Gaming segment last Saturday to pitch the idea:

“So imagine that you’re in your home, you’re signed into [the] game… and you make a decision in the game to turn off the lights in an unused bedroom [in real life]. As soon as you do that, the Smart Meter recognizes that, sends the information through the network to your computer and your house [in the game] turns a shade of green that it wasn’t before. And if I’m using less electricity, my team might do well. I get gold pieces and points… whatever the game designers think is fun. You get feedback in an entertainment game about what you’re doing in the real world.”

At his office, Reeves said the point of having Smart Meters as part of gameplay was to get gamers thinking about ways to be more energy efficient while letting them game … because what WoW players need to know is how to become more efficient while playing that game.

You know what would be a much better device for the WoW player? The Cheetometer, used to measure the amount of Cheetos intake by the average WoW player.

I’m totally calling trademark dibs on “Cheetometer”.

Vikings punter: ‘It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do’

Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe is prepared to take the ultimate step to becoming the greatest World of Warcraft fan ever by possibly becoming “Chris Warcraft.”

Apparently a ginormous WoW fan, he revealed his gaming perspicacity in a chat with the Minneapolis-St. Paul Star-Tribune late last week.

“I think more people like to hear me talk about playing video games than football,” claims Kluwe. “I’ve played video-games since I was 4 years old. I play them a lot more than I kick a football. I kick the ball about 45 minutes a day. I play video games about five or six hours a day. But that’s OK. I don’t watch TV …

“Back when [Bengals receiver] Chad Johnson changed his name to Ocho Cinco, I told the guys at [radio station] 93X that I was going to change my name to Chris ‘World of Warcraft.’ They said that’s too long. So they started calling me Chris ‘Warcraft.’ I could make a lot of money if I changed my name to that.”

Let’s back that up for you all.

I play them a lot more than I kick a football. I kick the ball about 45 minutes a day. I play video games about five or six hours a day. But that’s OK.”

Once again, WoW players, you make it almost too easy sometimes.

Does studying not get a shortcut command?

Oh, WoW. Your players never fail to amaze us.

Federal Communications Commissioner Deborah Taylor Tate claims that World of Warcraft and other online games are directly responsible for students dropping out altogether. In a speech to the Practicing Law Institute last week she cited a recent FCC survey,

“With the explosion of educational resources available online, one might think parents would be 100% pleased with the Internet’s role in their children’s lives, but surveys show just the opposite: a late 2006 survey that showed 59% of parents think the Internet has been a totally positive influence in their children’s lives– down from 67% in 2004.You might find it alarming that one of the top reasons for college drop-outs in the U.S. is online gaming addiction – such as World of Warcraft – which is played by 11 million individuals worldwide”

Tate provides no real evidence of her claim, but we’ve also seen what happens to people who let their lives be dominated by an MMO’s wily charms. While it’s hard to believe that huge swathes of people are dropping out purely to play Warcraft, it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to think that it had a hand in a few educations getting flushed away. As always, however, this is less Blizzard’s fault and more the fault of whoever made the decision to let a computer game control them.

Though, just to be on the safe side, we’ll make the illogical jump to a conclusion that Blizzard Studios is NOT a real American hero. Because someone has to be the first to do so.

HKMMORPG, kekeke ^_^

For you technophobes out there that haven’t plugged into The Matrix an MMORPG, yet love anything crapped out by the Japanese: your days are numbered.

That’s right, Hello Kitty–that weird cat thing that tops every pencil sold in Tokyo–will go online. Anticipated quests include: topping pencils, erasing marks that they make and filing quizzes in your Trapper Keeper innards.

Seriously, does anyone know what this cat does? Is it a tentacle porn thing? It’s for kids, so probably.