The McBournie Minute: We need more bailouts

For the past several weeks, Congress has been handing out money like candy on Halloween. (Technically, it’s been doing this since 1787, but let’s stick to today.) Banks, car manufacturers and the banks again have put on their best costumes and knocked on Congress’ door. Lawmakers have been only too happy to give what the executives want, mostly because they look so cute in their little outfits.

Since the Congressional lottery continues, I have come up with a few other things that are worth of billion-dollar bailouts. Should I ever be called to testify, I would be happy to make my case. Until then, this new device, this series of tubes will have to do. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: We need more bailouts

Take it from Snee: I am an American-American

Not too long ago, I wrote about my harrowing experience at a Taco Bell where the cashier refused to speak English. (Despite my best efforts, she also refused to go home. Taco Bell, you’ll be hearing from my lawyers!) At the end of that piece, I promised to fulfill my new calling: combating injustice in the United States of America. If you recall, I also asked all of you to do the same.

Imagine my shock to find that the entire country has ignored my cause. Maybe I spoke too much truth, because the truth hurts and there are a lot of defensive people out there. I am encountering even more assaults on my American-American roots. That’s right: I’m so American that I’m a minority amongst Americans. Continue reading Take it from Snee: I am an American-American