Mosquitoes remember the taste of your blood, science says

Mosquitoes remember you long after they have bitten you or been shooed away. They’re basically the Adeles of the insect world.

According to a new study, mosquitoes will remember you if your blood is particularly tasty, which may be why you get bitten again and again. This seems like a solid reason to avoid sweets any time you’re going to be outdoors for an extended period of time.

Scientists also learned that the blood suckers will remember to avoid you if you swat at them. So flail around like a crazy person for a few minutes when mosquitoes are around, and you’ll never have to worry about them bothering you.

Bug spray won’t cut it in Florida this year

If you live in Florida, you may want to consider moving before the summer comes. We’re sure it’s a very nice place and all that, but it’s about to get flat-out terrifying.

It’s no secret that Florida is one big swamp, and that mosquitoes love swamps, so naturally, the bugs are all over the state. But now, according to this headline, scientists are expecting a “Large, aggressive mosquito.” It’s likely going to be from the Psorophora ciliata species, which sounds like something you shouldn’t google at work.

The article is short on details, and we don’t want to speculate, but it probably means that the state will be terrorized by a single mutant mosquito, roughly the size of a house, and the demeanor of grizzly bear.

Of course, if you want to hunt this mega-mosquito, we’ll write songs about you when you bring us its head.

Obama sends Americans into lions’ den

President Barack Obama is trying to push you out the door. Billed as the “America’s Great Outdoors” program, the initiative will “conserve cherished land and encourage Americans to enjoy the outdoors.”

Mr. President, with all due respect, but have you been outside? There’s mosquitoes out there. And bears. And no Playstation.

This all sounds like a ruse to get us outside while the President watches his stories instead of more Dora reruns.

Well, we hope we get kidnapped, just to teach you a lesson. Was your little Internet “me-time” worth it?