When it comes to U.S. history, George Washington comes off as a pretty OK guy:
- When life gave him a cherry tree, he made firewood.
- At his first opportunity, he chose to attack the French rather than accept their immediate surrender.
- He managed to outright not lose to the British.
- He kept our new nation afloat for its first eight years, then left office voluntarily.
- He stole New York City property from the public library.
That’s right: Washington checked out a copy of The Law of Nations by Emer de Vattel on October 5, 1789 and never intended to return it. In fact, it was kept a guarded secret by–we presume–the Freemasons until The New York Daily News blew the lid off of this conspiracy.
After 221 years, $300,000 and a backlog of unknown length on the waiting list, Washington’s pet historians have finally coughed up a replacement copy for the library, presumably because Washington doodled boobs and penises in the margins of the original.
A woman faces arrest in Mount Vernon, Washington for failure to show up in court for