Los Angeles has had a rough go of it lately. It’s had a drought, wild fires, mudslides and NCIS: Los Angeles. But things somehow got even worse for Angelenos when a pack of animals ran loose on the streets.
Authorities say a donkey led a herd of goats and sheep through the streets of an L.A. suburb late last week. The beasts refused to comply with lawful orders of police officers to go home. They even managed to evade the cops attempting to arrest them. Considering how friendly L.A. cops can be when arresting you, this shows quite a bit of defiance.
Eventually, police tracked down the owner of the animals, which it was found had escaped through an open gate. The owner helped herd the animals, which for some reason were not charged with a single crime.
In more alcomahol related news …
In what can only be described as a bizarre and
intentional unintentional trend in the chain restaurant industry, yet another child was accidentally served alcohol, this time at Chili’s. Apparently the restaurant is changing their slogan from “The celebration of food” to “The celebration of drunk kids.” There have been similar incidents recently at both The Olive Garden, in which a two-year-old was served sangria, and Applebee’s, in which a 15-month-old was served a margarita.
The 4-year-old child, Brooklynn Morris, was allegedly served a mudslide instead of a chocolate shake and had three to four sips before she announced that she didn’t like it. Her mother tasted the drink and immediately recognized the alcohol. Brooklynn was brought to the hospital and diagnosed with alcohol-ingestion overdose. Guess who can’t hold their liquor?
The mother, Tyree Davis, remarked:
“I don’t want it to ever happen again … to any child, because I know this just happened last week to someone, and I heard about it, and it’s crazy that it just happened to us yesterday.”
People, we’ve got one crazy epidemic on our hands: little kids and babies are now turning into needy drunks. Not only that, they consume our delicious alcohol, knowing the effects of such an act and then become whiny when they can’t pay the price. It’s time to take away their fake licenses (“I’m only twenny-fwee years old.”) and put these kids in the sobriety corner for a time-out.