Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the waters of SeriouslyGuys on a Friday evening, DUM-DUM! I strike! As noted last week, Bryan McBournie is on vacation this week. His whereabouts are unknown, but we’re pretty sure he’s not at your kid’s playground in an unmarked white van. After all, there’s a much better chance that he’s right behind you and holding a knife above your neck at this very second. As such, you’re stuck with me. If you were busy protesting a street in Manhattan with a surprising lack of walls, odds are you missed it.
iMiss the guy already
Steve Jobs, creator of all things good at Apple, passed away on Wednesday. According a press release, the man went off into that great big sunset in the sky peacefully and surrounded by friends. It’s not hyperbole to say that Jobs was a pioneer in helping our world interact the way it does on a financial scale thanks to iTunes. No jokes here, kids. We’ll be classy about it, as we don’t actually hate Apple products (in fact, this was typed on one).
But who will take care of all the rowdy friends?
The relationship between Hank Williams Jr. and the opening song for Monday Night Football has been torn asunder, all due to comments made by Williams comparing President Obama to Hitler. Sports radio and podcasts are all wondering what the new intro will be. Suggestions I’ve heard range from the pre-Williams intro, a duet between Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, Jon Bon Jovi and Rihanna. In my defense, I listen to the Tony Kornheiser Show.
Unclean! Unclean!
Sickness is in the air! An outbreak of mumps has hit the UC Berkeley campus and a student at Denton High School tested positive for tuberculosis (in an area where a TB scare has already hit). Seeing as how bad things always happen in threes, SG will now predict that the next outbreak of communicable disease will be located at Radford University. We don’t necessarily want to call the health and well-being of our alma mater into question, but we have a hint that sometimes, you can’t change the history of a school.
Look, as a comedy writer, sometimes I say and do mean things. My particular brand of comedy leans anywhere from provocative to “let’s see if my penis fits in there.” And, you know what? Sometimes I have to step back and say I’ve gone too far, especially when it concerns people’s feelings.