Nothing a little Chipotlaway won’t cure

A Bexar County, Texas,  jail guard was convicted of smuggling a saw blade to an inmate by hiding it in a taco. A surprise inspection of now-convicted double murderer Jacob Keller’s cell turned up a hacksaw blade, a rope, and a prison jumpsuit dyed to look like civilian clothes.

The guard, Alfred Casas, however maintains his innocence, and in his defense, Keller did not escape. So, how did the blade end up in a taco?

  • Fire sauce just doesn’t cut it, butt pain-wise, once you’ve had prison sex.
  • It could have been from Taco Bell, which are filled with 100 percent beef and 100 percent stainless steel saw blades.
  • Casas’ wife may have been trying to slowly kill him, but ran out of arsenic for that day’s lunch.
  • How else was Keller supposed to get the sapling he swallowed out?