Tag: music

Take it from Snee: Just a few things

Sometimes, there are things I want to get off my chest that wouldn’t warrant a full weekly column for each. In the past, I’ve done these as Lightning Rounds, and that’s what I’m still calling this. But, it’s not following the same format.

Basically, the following are too big for twitter, too small for “Take it from Snee” and too opinionated for regular SeriouslyGuys posts. It doesn’t help that I saw Funny People this weekend and, like the rest of America, now believe that I could do that. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Just a few things

Le dead, they are rising

Quick, before someone tries to cover it up or explain it all away. Check out this picture from the CNN story.

Yes, there was an accident at a Madonna concert in France, which is tragic of course, but look closer. The French ambulance, a vehicle whose sole purpose is to transport the injured and sometimes dead to the hospital, says in big letters “REANIMATION.”

Yes, reanimation. As in rising from the dead. It’s been a while since we heard from the undead, but they certainly seem to be around. Don’t let Madonna bite you!

Phil Spector, our producer, did something

Phil Spector, just one of many celebrated psychopaths in the American music industry (but the only one to hold The Ramones hostage), was found guilty yesterday of the second-degree murder of Lana Clarkson.

In an inconceivable situation, Clarkson was found dead in Spector’s Los Angeles home from a gunshot wound. His arrest and trial led to the world’s most bizarre collection of courtroom sketches in recent history. Seriously, people haven’t worn wigs this bad in court since the invention of the guillotine.

The Guys wish Phil all the best during his sentencing. He’s a talented individual that just can’t handle his guns, bullets, ego, wardrobe, talent or his individual self.

You may have only gotten second-degree murder, but it’ll always be first in our hearts.

Take it from Snee: My friends are emotionally needy

Or, 25 Things About Me

I’ve been successfully ignoring Facebook for nigh-on three months when I start getting emails about friends tagging me in notes. As an Internet celebrity, that makes me nervous: who knows what my friends are saying about me when writing 25 things about themselves?

Imagine my surprise to find they had written not a got-milked thing about me! (Are you angry? Good imagining!)

So, as a service to you readers (especially the angry ones), here are 25 things about me: Continue reading Take it from Snee: My friends are emotionally needy

Take it from Snee: The State of Cool Address

Good evening, my fellow Internet users.

It my duty as the coolest person on the Internet to report every so often on the state of cool: that is, what is cool, what is no longer cool, threats to coolness and cool programs I am spearheading to keep our collective pimp hand strong.

As we approach 2009, we have reached a crucial focal point for what is cool. Environmentalism, economics and the downfall of Hot Topic raise many questions in the cool person’s mind. In these uncertain times, we shall work together to lift a few select individuals above the crowd. Continue reading Take it from Snee: The State of Cool Address

Oh, it’s illegal? Good to know

Attention Tennessee college students: your state government would like to remind you that it is illegal to download copyrighted material without the permission of the owner. All that music and movies you’ve been stealing? Yeah, the state’s not gonna tolerate that kind of bamboozling any further.

And by the state not tolerating, they mean that your school is not gonna tolerate it and will install effective countermeasures on their networks to curb all illegal file transfers.

SG does not have the details on each school’s plan, but suggests you talk to the underpaid — with $600 semester book bills — student IT staff members who will be in charge of creating RIAA-friendly filters.

Side Note:
You know who never gets government protection from piracy? Porn. What’s up with that?

How To: Joke about the new president

Comedians are worried about their trade now that George Bush’s presidency is almost over. It’s been an easy eight years, minus that brief period in late 2001-2002 when we depended on him as an illiterate father-figure.

In fact, things have been so bad for Bush and the gang that Republicans are complaining that we made too much fun of him, ruining their dreams of pop-up history books.

But enough about those oversensitive, feelings-oriented, fairness-mongering crybabies. We’ve got a real issue on our hands: how do we make fun of the guy who’s supposed to save America, especially one who’s … um, diverse?

Did any of you voters think about us? Humorists have husbands, wives and children to publicly belittle; we can’t pay for that unless we do political jokes, too. This is why The Guys held an emergency post-election meeting to determine how to joke about the new president. Continue reading How To: Joke about the new president

Eat My Sports: Music edition

It hit me earlier this week, we need an overhaul. Basically for going on 20 years, we as an American sports nation have relied too heavily on the same songs, over and over and over and over and over and over again at our sporting events. Someone wins, you get Queen’s “We Are The Champions,” someone gets ejected or loses, it’s Steam’s “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye,” to get the crowd pumped up you play “Rock and Roll Part 2” by Gary Glitter, or, enter any of these: Continue reading Eat My Sports: Music edition

How To: Get your band back together

We all know how the story goes. Back in the day, man, you would not believe how hard you rocked. You could pack the house in every town you went to–even the ones with only one or two bars. And the groupies? Wow. The bus rides, the comradery with your bandmates, the thrill of hearing fans sing your songs back to you and of course the drugs and alcohol.

But then, something happened. Egos got inflated, solo projects were discussed. Everyone wanted to take the band in a different direction, losing sight of what it really was. It all tore the band apart. We know the story, that’s why The Guys are here to present you with how to get your band back together. Continue reading How To: Get your band back together

What is it with the Germans and animals?

While we’ve been focusing on the Knut the man-eating polar bear story lately, it’s important to note that there are other animals in Germany. These animals are just as dangerous, not only because they are animals, but because they are German. We all know how it goes when the Germans get riled up about stuff, same goes for the animal population.

No better an example of German animals and their freaky German fetishes is there than a swan love story in Muenster. There, Petra the swan fell in love with a swan paddleboat in 2006. However, Petra was later separated from her unnatural love with a seagoing vessel, in hopes she would find a new mate. She did, but he flew off.

“A zoo statement says that Petra ‘appears to feel lonely’ and is swimming around in an agitated state. The solution? On Friday, she will be taken back to the nearby lake and her faithful paddleboat.”

Not only is this an abomination against God and the natural order of things, but it means Muenster will no longer have its main attraction, Petra the emo swan.