A riddle inside an enigma wrapped around a turd

A Regis Philbin is a solid indicator, too.At a time when it seems the 24-hour news networks aren’t aware of their own banality, CNN asks whether the media has payed too much attention to Jon and Kate Gosselin and the Octomom … in another f$#king article about the Gosselins and the Octomom.

The CNN piece mentions how Kate Gosselin gave an interview last week on NBC’s Today show and Live! With Regis & Kelly, and Nadya “Octomom” Suleman will appear in a two-hour special on Fox.

These are interesting points, except we’re talking about:

  • The Today Show and Regis, two morning zoo shows. These are the big networks’ equivalent of an alarm clock that annoys you out of bed, only with fake tans and cooking segments. Stupid interviews with sad people are kind of standard, considering most of the audience is unemployed or in waiting rooms.
  • Fox Two-Hour Specials. Previous Fox specials have included a bogus alien autopsy, the original When Animals Attack special and extra long segments of Cops and Jerry Springer.

So, way to go, CNN. You’ve managed to be the only “credible” source to cover vagina clown cars today.

Why Schadenfreude? Because you can afford it

Another morning, another day that your parents will ask you, “When are you going to give me a grandbaby?” (Apparently, they want a sexless grandchild.)

And then there’s Nadya Suleman, the single mother who just gave birth to octuplets because she had fertility treatments, implanted all six fertilized embryos and already had six children to boot. If she can do it, what excuse do you have for wannabe Grampy and Mom-mom?

It’s days like this that make it impossible to start your day …

Ah, but she can’t. Suleman’s now begging for handouts online, accepting Visa, MasterCard, American Express, PayPal and Discover.

Oh, Nadya. Nobody takes Discover. That’s just sad.

Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.