So which is the one giving us hope?

According to the Bible, some time after Jesus Christ was born, three kings came to offer stuff that was shiny and smelled nice. Because of this, Christians set up there own nativity scenes (even though Jesus always looks Eastern European) and one of the three wise men figures is always black.

No one is really sure why there is one black king, but that’s how it’s always been. This year in Naples, it’s U.S. President-elect Barack Obama who is bringing the frankincense to the baby Jesus, joined of course by his wife Michelle. This means that Obama not only one the presidency, but somehow he also unseated Anonymous Sub-Saharan King for the gift giving.

See, conspiracy theorists? Obama isn’t a secret Muslim, he’s one of the first Christians!

Elections: Now with 74% more fiber!

It was Peter Finch who said the infamous lines “I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell–‘I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!’ Things have got to change. But first, you’ve gotta get mad! You’ve got to say, ‘I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!’ Then we’ll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!” in the classic 1976 movie, Network. Unfortunately, the rest of the world seemingly gets movies in their countries much later than the rest of us. Like Italy, it would seem.

Case in point: a 41-year-old businessman with pooping problems, having seemingly just seen Network, decided that, in a fit of rage and protest, to eat his electoral ballot. Claiming that all Italian politicians and politics “are crap” and that he was protesting “against the system,” the unnamed individual went for a nice plate of fettuccine politico. Of course, based on his own words, does he not realize that he was eating crap?

I’m just saying, is all.