Hollandazed and confused no longer

Hey, pot smokers. While we appreciate your readership over the years (assuming you arrived here by mistakenly typing “Seriously guys, can I overdose on weed?” in your Google search), it appears that the Dutch have had enough of your s@%t.

A judge has upheld a proposed government ban on selling marijuana to non-Dutch citizens in their world-famous coffee bars. The government is hoping to clean up their reputation for catering to “drug tourists,” believing that this could bring back the kind of nice, clean-cut tourists that visit for Amsterdam’s Red Light District.

On the plus side, this should reduce the decibels of stoned conversation in the Van Gogh museum.

You Missed It: Sweeps week edition

Hey, guess what? It’s Friday. It’s finally here. Best of all, it’s the weekend before St. Patrick’s Day. That means it is officially time to go out and celebrate your Irish heritage. Even if you have none. Then again, it’s also Friday the 13th–again. So you may want to watch out for ladders you could potentially walk under. If you were busy watching stocks go up for a change, odds are you missed it.

Is the ‘mad’ in Mad Money for craziness or anger?
All week long (or at least it seemed that way), Jon Stewart and Jim Cramer were feuding on the television. It started off with a critical commentary Stewart had for CNBC pundit Rick Santelli and his comments about home owners. The home owners are stupid. No they’re not. Jim Cramer is a douche. Hey, I heard that! Cramer is still a douche. Joe Scarborough agrees I am not. Dora the Explorer swears. Cramer more or less apologizes and says he will be more investigative during an interview on The Daily Show. There, feudin’ over in just one paragraph!

Orbiting trash makes the Space Indian cry
The crew of the International Space Station had to rush to the escepe pod for about ten minutes because a piece of space debris (manmade, of course) was coming at them at several times the speed of a bullet. The object, not bigger than a pencil, passed with in three miles of the space station. How do we know? NASA tracks these things, thousands of them, actually. Wait a minute, they have an escape pod on that thing? Awesome, it’s like Space Balls!

Who doesn’t love the Dutch?
Last week, we talked briefly about how pointless the World Baseball Classic was. This week, it got a little interesting, because some crazy team from the Netherworld Nether region Netherlands beat the heavily favored Dominican team–twice, thus advancing them to the next round. Pedro Cerrano sacrificed a chicken before the games, but it did him no good.

Dutch Government: ‘Get your tobacco out of our weed!’

Slowly but surely in the Netherlands, smoking of tobacco in public has been made illegal. And not just public public, but the inside kind of public too. So, faithful Dutch reader of our site, what does this mean for you? It means that the next time you get coffee and a crumpet at one of your more infamous coffee shops, your late morning joint will need to be tobacco-less. BUG-WAH?!!?

The Dutch Government hasn’t exactly been known for well thought out plans, it would seem. Could this spell the end of the “cafes”? Well, not totally, but it’s not going to be anything but bad for business, that’s for sure. Sounds like the government is like a restaurant in my town (Famous Anthony’s in Southwest Plaza, Roanoke, VA) that refuses to install a credit card machine for payment purposes-are you just diametrically opposed to making money?

Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the new, more sensitive, more politically correct “WORLD”.